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Certainly there are lots of things in life that money won't buy, but it's very funny- Have you ever tried to buy them without money?

Ogden Nash

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Ogden Nash
Age: 68 †
Born: 1902
Born: August 19
Died: 1971
Died: May 19
Poet
Screenwriter
Writer
New York
United States
Frederic Ogden Nash
Money
Ever
Without
Things
Life
Lots
Tried
Certainly
Funny

More quotes by Ogden Nash

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Then here's to the heartening wassail, Wherever good fellows are found Be its master instead of its vassal, and order the glasses around.
Ogden Nash
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In real life, it takes only one to make a quarrel.
Ogden Nash
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Tonight's December thirty-first, something is about to burst. The clock is crouching, dark and small, like a time bomb in the hall. Hark, it's midnight, children dear. Duck! Here comes another year!
Ogden Nash
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Neath tile or thatch That man is rich Who has a scratch For every itch.
Ogden Nash
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Your hair may be brushed, but your mind's untidy. You've had about seven hours of sleep since Friday. No wonder you feel that lost sensation. You're sunk from a riot of relaxation.
Ogden Nash
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All husbands are alike, but they have different faces so you can tell them apart.
Ogden Nash
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Professional men, they have no cares whatever happens, they get theirs.
Ogden Nash
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Any kiddie in school can love like a fool, But Hating, my boy, is an Art.
Ogden Nash
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The turtle lives 'twixt plated decks Which practically conceal its sex I think it clever of the turtle In such a fix to be so fertile.
Ogden Nash
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Husbands are things that wives have to get used to putting up with. And with whom they breakfast with and sup with. They interfere with the discipline of nurseries, And forget anniversaries, And when they have been particularly remiss, They think they can cure everything with a great big kiss.
Ogden Nash
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Marriage is the only known example of the happy meeting of the immovable object and the irresistible force.
Ogden Nash
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The door of a bigoted mind opens outwards so that the only result of the pressure of facts upon it is to close it more snugly.
Ogden Nash
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Good wine needs no bush, And perhaps products that people really want Need no hard-sell or soft-sell TV push. Why not? Look at pot.
Ogden Nash
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Here is a pen and here is a pencil, here's a typewriter, here's a stencil, here's a list of today's appointments, and all the flies in all the ointments, the daily woes that a man endures -- take them, George, they're yours!
Ogden Nash
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And one of his partners asked Has he vertigo? and the other glanced out and down and said Oh no, only about ten feet more.
Ogden Nash
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Authors of all races, be they Greeks, Romans, Teutons, or Celts, Can't seem just to say anything is the thing it is but have to go out of their way to say that it is like something else.
Ogden Nash
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They take the paper and they read the headlines. So they've heard of unemployment and they've heard of bread-lines. And they philanthropically cure them all by getting up a costume charity ball.
Ogden Nash
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A bit of talcum Is always walcum.
Ogden Nash
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Another good thing about gossip is that it is within everybody's reach, And it is much more interesting than any other form of speech.
Ogden Nash
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Commitments the voters don't know about can't hurt you.
Ogden Nash