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No, you never get any fun Out of the things you haven't done.

Ogden Nash

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Ogden Nash
Age: 68 †
Born: 1902
Born: August 19
Died: 1971
Died: May 19
Poet
Screenwriter
Writer
New York
United States
Frederic Ogden Nash
Havens
Haven
Fun
Done
Children
Things
Never

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The only way I can distinguish proper from improper fractions is by their actions
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There once was an umpire whose vision Was cause for abuse and derision He remarked in surprise, 'Why pick on my eyes? It's my heart that dictates my decision.'
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Ten years ago she split the air To seize what she could spy Tonight she bumps against a chair, Betrayed by milky eye. She seems to pant, Time up, time up! My little dog must die, And lie in dust with Hector's pup I So, presently, must I.
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We love the kindly wind and hail, The jolly thunderbolt, We watch in glee the fairy trail Of ampere, watt, and volt.
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I'm like a backward berry, Unripened on the vine, For all my friends are fifty, And I'm only forty-nine.
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Whether elected or appointed he considers himself the Lord's anointed, and indeed the ointment lingers on him so thick you can't get your fingers on him.
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I drink because she nags, she said I nag because he drinks. But if the truth be known to you, He's a lush and she's a shrew.
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I'd rather be a great bad poet than a good bad poet.
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The truth I do not stretch or shove When I state the dog is full of love. I've also proved, by actual test, A wet dog is the lovingest.
Ogden Nash
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He without benefit of scruples - His fun and money soon quadruples.
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To Tom Carlson or his dog-depending on whose taste it best suits.
Ogden Nash
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The old men know when an old man dies.
Ogden Nash
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They take the paper and they read the headlines. So they've heard of unemployment and they've heard of bread-lines. And they philanthropically cure them all by getting up a costume charity ball.
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Some primal termite knocked on wood. And tasted it, and found it good. And that is why your Cousin May Fell through the parlor floor today.
Ogden Nash
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Here is a pen and here is a pencil, here's a typewriter, here's a stencil, here's a list of today's appointments, and all the flies in all the ointments, the daily woes that a man endures -- take them, George, they're yours!
Ogden Nash
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Authors of all races, be they Greeks, Romans, Teutons, or Celts, Can't seem just to say anything is the thing it is but have to go out of their way to say that it is like something else.
Ogden Nash
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In the world of mules there are no rules.
Ogden Nash
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Linguistics becomes an ever eerier area, like I feel like I'm in Oz, Just trying to tell it like it was.
Ogden Nash
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Some people's money is merited and other people's is inherited.
Ogden Nash
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Then here's to the heartening wassail, Wherever good fellows are found Be its master instead of its vassal, and order the glasses around.
Ogden Nash