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Here lies my past, Goodbye I have kissed it Thank you kids, I wouldn't have missed it.

Ogden Nash

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Ogden Nash
Age: 68 †
Born: 1902
Born: August 19
Died: 1971
Died: May 19
Poet
Screenwriter
Writer
New York
United States
Frederic Ogden Nash
Goodbye
Missed
Thank
Lies
Wouldn
Lying
Kids
Bye
Past
Kissed

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The more you earn, the less you keep, And now I lay me down to sleep. I pray the Lord my soul to take, If the tax-collector hasn't got it before I wake.
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The reason for much matrimony is patrimony.
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Wind is caused by the trees waving their branches.
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In real life, it takes only one to make a quarrel.
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We love the kindly wind and hail, The jolly thunderbolt, We watch in glee the fairy trail Of ampere, watt, and volt.
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Happiness is having a scratch for every itch.
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Love is a word that is constantly heard, Hate is a word that is not. Love, I am told, is more precious than gold. Love, I have read, is hot. But hate is the verb that to me is superb, And Love but a drug on the mart. Any kiddie in school can love like a fool, But Hating, my boy, is an Art.
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But that wasn't fancy enough for Lord Byron, oh dear me no, he had to invent a lot of figures of speech and then interpolate them, With the result that whenever you mention Old Testament soldiers to people they say Oh yes, they're the ones that a lot of wolves dressed up in gold and purple ate them.
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There are two kinds of people who blow through life like a breeze, And one kind is gossipers, and the other kind is gossipees.
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Another good thing about gossip is that it is within everybody's reach, And it is much more interesting than any other form of speech.
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I'm like a backward berry, Unripened on the vine, For all my friends are fifty, And I'm only forty-nine.
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Do you think my mind is maturing late, or simply rotted early?
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In the world of mules there are no rules.
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A dressing is not a compote A dressing is not a custard It consists of pepper and salt, Vinegar, oil and mustard.
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The camel has a single hump, The dromedary, two Or else the other way around I'm never sure. Are you?
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Some debts are fun while you are acquiring them, But none are fun when you set about retiring them.
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Commitments the voters don't know about can't hurt you.
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Whether elected or appointed he considers himself the Lord's anointed, and indeed the ointment lingers on him so thick you can't get your fingers on him.
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Too much Chablis can make you whablis.
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Celery, raw, Develops the jaw
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