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I drink because she nags, she said I nag because he drinks. But if the truth be known to you, He's a lush and she's a shrew.

Ogden Nash

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Ogden Nash
Age: 68 †
Born: 1902
Born: August 19
Died: 1971
Died: May 19
Poet
Screenwriter
Writer
New York
United States
Frederic Ogden Nash
Shrews
Lush
Drinks
Drinking
Drink
Known
Truth
Nags

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Don't Cry Darling, It's Blood All Right
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Bankers are just like everybody else, except richer.
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People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.
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I think that I shall never see A billboard lovely as a tree. Perhaps, unless the billboards fall, I'll never see a tree at all.
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One would be in less danger From the wiles of the stranger If one's own kin and kith Were more fun to be with.
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The Pig, if I am not mistaken, Supplies us sausage, ham, and Bacon. Let others say his heart is big, I think it stupid of the Pig.
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The trouble with a kitten is that eventually it becomes a cat.
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The reason for much matrimony is patrimony.
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Nobody agrees with anybody else anyhow, but adults conceal it and infants show it.
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This is my dream, It is my own dream, I dreamt it. I dreamt that my hair was kempt. Then I dreamt that my true love unkempt it.
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The old men know when an old man dies.
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The dog is man's best friend. He has a tail on one end. Up in front he has teeth. And four legs underneath.
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Why did the Lord give use so much quickness unless it was to avoid responsibility?
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Smallpox is natural vaccine ain't.
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Husbands are things that wives have to get used to putting up with. And with whom they breakfast with and sup with. They interfere with the discipline of nurseries, And forget anniversaries, And when they have been particularly remiss, They think they can cure everything with a great big kiss.
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A bird in the open never looks Like its picture in the birdie books - Or if it once did, it has changed its plumage, And plunges you back into ignorant gloomage.
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But that wasn't fancy enough for Lord Byron, oh dear me no, he had to invent a lot of figures of speech and then interpolate them, With the result that whenever you mention Old Testament soldiers to people they say Oh yes, they're the ones that a lot of wolves dressed up in gold and purple ate them.
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The bed is a bundle of paradoxes: we go to it with reluctance, yet we quit it with regret we make up our minds every night to leave it early, but we make up our bodies every morning to keep it late.
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Some primal termite knocked on wood. And tasted it, and found it good. And that is why your Cousin May Fell through the parlor floor today.
Ogden Nash
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Love is a word that is constantly heard, Hate is a word that is not. Love, I am told, is more precious than gold. Love, I have read, is hot. But hate is the verb that to me is superb, And Love but a drug on the mart. Any kiddie in school can love like a fool, But Hating, my boy, is an Art.
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