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I drink because she nags, she said I nag because he drinks. But if the truth be known to you, He's a lush and she's a shrew.

Ogden Nash

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Ogden Nash
Age: 68 †
Born: 1902
Born: August 19
Died: 1971
Died: May 19
Poet
Screenwriter
Writer
New York
United States
Frederic Ogden Nash
Drinking
Drink
Known
Truth
Nags
Shrews
Lush
Drinks

More quotes by Ogden Nash

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They take the paper and they read the headlines. So they've heard of unemployment and they've heard of bread-lines. And they philanthropically cure them all by getting up a costume charity ball.
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The noblest lord is ushered in By the practicing physician, And the humblest lout is ushered out By a certified mortician. And in between, they find their foyers Alive with summonses from lawyers.
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Middle-age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you.
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Celery, raw, Develops the jaw
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In real life, it takes only one to make a quarrel.
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I'm like a backward berry, Unripened on the vine, For all my friends are fifty, And I'm only forty-nine.
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Nobody agrees with anybody else anyhow, but adults conceal it and infants show it.
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The camel has a single hump, The dromedary, two Or else the other way around I'm never sure. Are you?
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Some primal termite knocked on wood. And tasted it, and found it good. And that is why your Cousin May Fell through the parlor floor today.
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The only incurable troubles of the rich are the troubles that money can't cure, Which is a kind of trouble that is even more troublesome if you are poor.
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Husbands are things that wives have to get used to putting up with. And with whom they breakfast with and sup with. They interfere with the discipline of nurseries, And forget anniversaries, And when they have been particularly remiss, They think they can cure everything with a great big kiss.
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The further through life I drift the more obvious it becomes that I am lacking in thrift.
Ogden Nash
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Do you think my mind is maturing late, or simply rotted early?
Ogden Nash
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I myself am more and more inclined to agree with Omar and Satchel Paige as I grow older: Don't try to rewrite what the moving finger has writ, and don't ever look over your shoulder.
Ogden Nash
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We love the kindly wind and hail, The jolly thunderbolt, We watch in glee the fairy trail Of ampere, watt, and volt.
Ogden Nash
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Then here's to the heartening wassail, Wherever good fellows are found Be its master instead of its vassal, and order the glasses around.
Ogden Nash
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One rule which woe betides the banker who fails to heed it/Never lend any money to anybody unless they don't need it.
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The oboe's a horn made of wood. I'd play you a tune if I could, But the reeds are a pain, And the fingering's insane. It's the ill wind that no one blows good.
Ogden Nash
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One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
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The dog is man's best friend. He has a tail on one end. Up in front he has teeth. And four legs underneath.
Ogden Nash