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When grandparents enter the door, discipline flies out the window.

Ogden Nash

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Ogden Nash
Age: 68 †
Born: 1902
Born: August 19
Died: 1971
Died: May 19
Poet
Screenwriter
Writer
New York
United States
Frederic Ogden Nash
Grandfather
Grandmother
Enter
Grandpa
Door
Grandparents
Window
Grandma
Discipline
Grandparent
Doors
Flies
Grandchildren

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The noblest lord is ushered in By the practicing physician, And the humblest lout is ushered out By a certified mortician. And in between, they find their foyers Alive with summonses from lawyers.
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So I hope husbands and wives will continue to debate and combat Over everything debatable and combatable Because I believe a little incompatibility is the spice of life Particularly if he has income and she is pattable.
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There is something about a martini, Ere the dining and dancing begin, And to tell you the truth, It is not the vermouth- I think that perhaps it's the gin.
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Here lies my past, Goodbye I have kissed it Thank you kids, I wouldn't have missed it.
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Some debts are fun while you are acquiring them, But none are fun when you set about retiring them.
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And one of his partners asked Has he vertigo? and the other glanced out and down and said Oh no, only about ten feet more.
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Here's a toast to the roast that good fellowship lends, with the sparkle of beer and wine May its sentiment always be deeper, my friends, than the foam at the top of the stein. Then here's to the heartening wassail, wherever good fellows are found Be its master instead of its vassal, and order the glasses around.
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The Pig, if I am not mistaken, Supplies us sausage, ham, and Bacon. Let others say his heart is big, I think it stupid of the Pig.
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The bed is a bundle of paradoxes: we go to it with reluctance, yet we quit it with regret we make up our minds every night to leave it early, but we make up our bodies every morning to keep it late.
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A dressing is not a compote A dressing is not a custard It consists of pepper and salt, Vinegar, oil and mustard.
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No, you never get any fun Out of the things you haven't done.
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The door of a bigoted mind opens outwards so that the only result of the pressure of facts upon it is to close it more snugly.
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Maybe I couldn't be dafter, But I keep wondering if this time we settle our differences before a war instead of after.
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I think that I shall never see A billboard lovely as a tree. Perhaps, unless the billboards fall, I'll never see a tree at all.
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Linguistics becomes an ever eerier area, like I feel like I'm in Oz, Just trying to tell it like it was.
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When I remember bygone days I think how evening follows morn So many I loved were not yet dead, So many I love were not yet born.
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Why did the Lord give use so much quickness unless it was to avoid responsibility?
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Middle-age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you.
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Marriage is the only known example of the happy meeting of the immovable object and the irresistible force.
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Winter is the king of showmen, Turning tree stumps into snowmen And houses into birthday cakes And spreading sugar over lakes. Smooth and clean and frosty white, The world looks good enough to bite. That’s the season to be young, Catching snowflakes on your tongue. Snow is snowy when it’s snowing, I’m sorry it’s slushy when it’s going.
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