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Middle-age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you.

Ogden Nash

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Ogden Nash
Age: 68 †
Born: 1902
Born: August 19
Died: 1971
Died: May 19
Poet
Screenwriter
Writer
New York
United States
Frederic Ogden Nash
Reality
Rings
Telephone
Home
Humorous
Telephones
Sitting
Friday
Middle
Saturday
Age
Weekend
Funny
Birthday
Hope
Sunday
Night
Witty

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Do you think my mind is maturing late, or simply rotted early?
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I'm like a backward berry, Unripened on the vine, For all my friends are fifty, And I'm only forty-nine.
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A husband is a man who two minutes after his head touches the pillow is snoring like an overloaded omnibus.
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Ten years ago she split the air To seize what she could spy Tonight she bumps against a chair, Betrayed by milky eye. She seems to pant, Time up, time up! My little dog must die, And lie in dust with Hector's pup I So, presently, must I.
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Any kiddie in school can love like a fool, But Hating, my boy, is an Art.
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I was born a jackdaw why should I try to be an owl?
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Celery, raw, Develops the jaw
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I myself am more and more inclined to agree with Omar and Satchel Paige as I grow older: Don't try to rewrite what the moving finger has writ, and don't ever look over your shoulder.
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The turtle lives 'twixt plated decks Which practically conceal its sex I think it clever of the turtle In such a fix to be so fertile.
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One rule which woe betides the banker who fails to heed it/Never lend any money to anybody unless they don't need it.
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Humor is hope's companion in arms. It is not brash, it is not cheap, it is not heartless. Among other things I think humor is a shield, a weapon, a survival kit.
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Oh, what a tangled web do parents weave, when they think that their children are naive.
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One thing that literature would be greatly the better for Would be a more restricted employment by authors of simile and>metaphor.
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Neath tile or thatch That man is rich Who has a scratch For every itch.
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Some primal termite knocked on wood. And tasted it, and found it good. And that is why your Cousin May Fell through the parlor floor today.
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There was a young man of Herne Bay who was making some fireworks one day: but he dropped his cigar in the gunpowder jar. There was a young man of Herne Bay.
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This is my dream, It is my own dream, I dreamt it. I dreamt that my hair was kempt. Then I dreamt that my true love unkempt it.
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Beneath this slab John Brown is stowed. He watched the ads, And not the road.
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Don't Cry Darling, It's Blood All Right
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Professional men, they have no cares whatever happens, they get theirs.
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