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Middle-age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you.
Ogden Nash
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Ogden Nash
Age: 68 †
Born: 1902
Born: August 19
Died: 1971
Died: May 19
Poet
Screenwriter
Writer
New York
United States
Frederic Ogden Nash
Night
Witty
Reality
Rings
Telephone
Home
Humorous
Telephones
Sitting
Friday
Middle
Saturday
Age
Weekend
Funny
Birthday
Hope
Sunday
More quotes by Ogden Nash
The reason for much matrimony is patrimony.
Ogden Nash
Tonight's December thirty-first, something is about to burst. The clock is crouching, dark and small, like a time bomb in the hall. Hark, it's midnight, children dear. Duck! Here comes another year!
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Some one invented the telephone, And interrupted a nation's slumbers, Ringing wrong but similar numbers.
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Authors of all races, be they Greeks, Romans, Teutons, or Celts, Can't seem just to say anything is the thing it is but have to go out of their way to say that it is like something else.
Ogden Nash
Another good thing about gossip is that it is within everybody's reach, And it is much more interesting than any other form of speech.
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Too much Chablis can make you whablis.
Ogden Nash
Then blessings on thee, my afternoon torpor Thou makest a prince of a mental porpor.
Ogden Nash
Commitments the voters don't know about can't hurt you.
Ogden Nash
The bed is a bundle of paradoxes: we go to it with reluctance, yet we quit it with regret we make up our minds every night to leave it early, but we make up our bodies every morning to keep it late.
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Senescence begins And middle-age ends The day your descendants Outnumber your friends
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Indeed, everybody wants to be a wow, But not everybody knows exactly how.
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Wind is caused by the trees waving their branches.
Ogden Nash
Sleep is perverse as human nature, Sleep is perverse as legislature.... So people who go to bed to sleep Must count French premiers or sheep, And people who ought to arise from bed Yawn and go back to sleep instead.
Ogden Nash
Whether elected or appointed he considers himself the Lord's anointed, and indeed the ointment lingers on him so thick you can't get your fingers on him.
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The door of a bigoted mind opens outwards so that the only result of the pressure of facts upon it is to close it more snugly.
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Some hate broccoli, some hate bacon I hate having my picture taken. How can your family claim to love you And then demand a picture of you?
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The codfish is a staple food For which I'm seldom in the mood. This fish is such an utter loss That people eat it with egg sauce.
Ogden Nash
I would live all my life in nonchalance and insouciance, were it not for making living, which is rather a nouciance.
Ogden Nash
When there are monsters there are miracles.
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I'm like a backward berry, Unripened on the vine, For all my friends are fifty, And I'm only forty-nine.
Ogden Nash