Quote

I got my computer. The great thing about the computer is that you only need enough money to buy a computer and some food, and you're all right. I don't have to go to premières.

Norm MacDonald

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Norm MacDonald
Age: 65
Born: 1959
Born: October 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Quebec
Need
Enough
Right
Great
Needs
Thing
Computer
Food
Money

More quotes by Norm MacDonald

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I'm not gay, so I don't know much about Broadway musicals.
Norm MacDonald
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There's no show business in Canada, so everybody just did stand-up and we all thought, Oh, we'll just keep doing stand-up. And then I'm like, There's more work in the States.
Norm MacDonald
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I've always been very averse to innuendo, especially sexual. I find it cowardly or something.
Norm MacDonald
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A proper disposition of time leaves a man at leisure in the very bustle of affairs without delaying the attention of his concerns to the last or giving them unnecessary application at first: it affords a season for everything by affording everything its proper season.
Norm MacDonald
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My dad died, and my grandfather died, and my great-grandfather died. And the guy before him, I don't know. Probably died.
Norm MacDonald
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He that searches for praise will often find contempt.
Norm MacDonald
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Stand-up has the best writers, because it's the hardest writing by a million miles.
Norm MacDonald
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Most men appear wiser in their doubts than in their belief.
Norm MacDonald
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Some men mistake generosity for charity: these flatter themselves that they are giving gratuitously, whilst they are merely rewarding secret services offered their vanity.
Norm MacDonald
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I don't do much. I'm too lazy. That's my problem. Hang around my couch, watching the TV. Just too lazy. I realized this the other day, I get hit my a truck tomorrow - a big truck could hit me - paralyze me from the neck down. Wouldn't effect my lifestyle a bit really.
Norm MacDonald
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I generally have a real strong idea or a strong punchline, and I just try to get to it by rambling around, as I don't like to memorize words.
Norm MacDonald
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Pulp Fiction is a, uh, gritty, urban satire. Pump Friction is a uh-uh, a bunch of uh, dudes and ladies having dirty sex.
Norm MacDonald
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I don't have any ego about it, but I find there's not a great work ethic in show business. A lot of people are in it to make money, and coming from stand-up, you have to work so hard because almost nothing works, and if you lose the audience for three minutes, you're dead.
Norm MacDonald
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When I started in Canada, I just did stand-up.
Norm MacDonald
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On Update, the only real original thing was trying to take away the cleverness of the punchline and make it as blunt as possible.
Norm MacDonald
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Comedy is surprises, so if you're intending to make somebody laugh and they don't laugh, that's funny.
Norm MacDonald
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The man that does not fear punishment, little regards crime.
Norm MacDonald
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Man, them engagement rings, boy, they cost a lot. I was looking at 'em. Cost like a thousand bucks, two thousand bucks, y'know. Three thousand bucks. Something like that- four thousand bucks. Big number divisible by a thousand, anyways.
Norm MacDonald
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After months of speculation, the sitcom star Ellen DeGeneres admitted that yes, she's gay. Inspired by her courage, today, diet-guru Richard Simmons admitted that he is really, really, really, really gay.
Norm MacDonald
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I'm no good at anything but comedy, which I think I'm good at. I'm absolutely no good at networking I'm terrible at acting I'm terrible at dealing with executives I'm terrible at collaborating. And I say whatever I want to say. But I think I'm good enough at comedy that I can survive. And I don't really have an ambition for money.
Norm MacDonald