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[sam] Kinison, when he started out, he'd come to Canada when I was first starting, and he'd always [bomb].
Norm MacDonald
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Norm MacDonald
Age: 65
Born: 1959
Born: October 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Quebec
Always
Bomb
Bombs
Canada
Starting
Started
Firsts
Come
First
More quotes by Norm MacDonald
I generally have a real strong idea or a strong punchline, and I just try to get to it by rambling around, as I don't like to memorize words.
Norm MacDonald
Women of no beauty may yet be flattered to believe they possess some others of a moderate share that they have a great deal but those of elegance and charm generally know the perfection of their external graces so well, that they seem to covet that flattery most which heightens the opinion of their wit and judgment.
Norm MacDonald
There are two things which a man should scrupulously avoid: giving advice that he would not follow, and asking advice when he is determined to pursue his own opinion.
Norm MacDonald
I never do impressions, but I probably should. People like that stuff.
Norm MacDonald
Kenny G has a Christmas album out this year. Hey, happy birthday Jesus! Hope you like crap!
Norm MacDonald
[Televised stand-up] never really makes me laugh. The only one I ever saw that I liked was Richard Pryor, and that was [shot on] film.
Norm MacDonald
With the ambitious, the failure of one expedient is the suggestion of another but with the irresolute, defeat usually occasions abandonment of purpose.
Norm MacDonald
They that are virtuous from principle may receive confidence in every capacity but they that are so from custom or habit, are capable of trust only in matters of ordinary and settled occurrence.
Norm MacDonald
I've been offered political shows before, and I don't know anything about politics and I feel uncomfortable making political opinions - there's consequences to them. I often think I'm wrong, so I really don't like getting in political or religious discussions because of the giant possibility that I might be wrong.
Norm MacDonald
It is the folly of weak-minded people, to imagine they are what flattery or conceit represents them and that it is useless for them to be what they are not, since they seem already to have acquired the reputation of it.
Norm MacDonald
After months of speculation, the sitcom star Ellen DeGeneres admitted that yes, she's gay. Inspired by her courage, today, diet-guru Richard Simmons admitted that he is really, really, really, really gay.
Norm MacDonald
Ever see this? It's a homeless guy but he's got a dog... The dog's really thrilled with this idea. The dog's going, Hey pal, I can do this by myself pretty well. The longest walk in the world you got me on here.
Norm MacDonald
Were there no fools, there would be no flatterers.
Norm MacDonald
I don't have any ego about it, but I find there's not a great work ethic in show business. A lot of people are in it to make money, and coming from stand-up, you have to work so hard because almost nothing works, and if you lose the audience for three minutes, you're dead.
Norm MacDonald
They're like ''You're an alcoholic.'' I go ''No, I'm not.'' and then-apparently that's what alcoholics say too, you know?
Norm MacDonald
Your worst and most dangerous enemy is the person that injures you under the pretensions of friendship.
Norm MacDonald
I have always loved Las Vegas. It's a traditional place for lounge comics to perform, and I love that.
Norm MacDonald
You're used to a TV show, and TV is just made for TV shows. It's not made for live events.So anyways, I was resistant to it, but I did it anyway.
Norm MacDonald
This is a thing I read by a scientist... it said scientists now say that a man thinks about sex once every 7.3 seconds. Now, I know what I think every 7.3 seconds. It's just a bunch of meaningless gibberish.
Norm MacDonald
During misfortunes, nothing aggravates our condition more, than to be esteemed deserving of them.
Norm MacDonald
