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Richard Pryor is my favorite stand-up ever.
Norm MacDonald
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Norm MacDonald
Age: 65
Born: 1959
Born: October 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Quebec
Richard
Favorite
Stand
Ever
More quotes by Norm MacDonald
I'm not gay, so I don't know much about Broadway musicals.
Norm MacDonald
Women of no beauty may yet be flattered to believe they possess some others of a moderate share that they have a great deal but those of elegance and charm generally know the perfection of their external graces so well, that they seem to covet that flattery most which heightens the opinion of their wit and judgment.
Norm MacDonald
The promises we break are usually such as we are most forward in making.
Norm MacDonald
I would love to stay at SNL forever. But you can't stay in the same place. People think you're a loser.
Norm MacDonald
I sort of have open invitations from a lot of people to do TV. But it's very hard for me to do roles in sitcoms and movies because I'm not a great actor, so if the material isn't good, I'm in torment while I do it.
Norm MacDonald
Some men mistake generosity for charity: these flatter themselves that they are giving gratuitously, whilst they are merely rewarding secret services offered their vanity.
Norm MacDonald
I hate fame. I hate being recognized, because I don't know how to talk to people.
Norm MacDonald
Comedy is surprises, so if you're intending to make somebody laugh and they don't laugh, that's funny.
Norm MacDonald
In giving advice, aptitude is often less to be considered, than seasonableness.
Norm MacDonald
When I was a kid, everybody that played golf was an old man. Until Tiger showed up, they weren't in very good shape.
Norm MacDonald
You ever see 'The Dating Game'? That's a weird game show. The prize on that show: another contestant. Talk about cheap.
Norm MacDonald
Were there no fools, there would be no flatterers.
Norm MacDonald
The vanity of being asked advice often makes us confirm the opinion of those that consult us.
Norm MacDonald
I've seen people in theaters, and it just doesn't work, because you're talking to the guy next to you the whole time.
Norm MacDonald
Stand-up has the best writers, because it's the hardest writing by a million miles.
Norm MacDonald
Hypocrisy is the outward acknowledgment of inward shame.
Norm MacDonald
There's no show business in Canada, so everybody just did stand-up and we all thought, Oh, we'll just keep doing stand-up. And then I'm like, There's more work in the States.
Norm MacDonald
I want you to buy this pit bull. This will protect your valuables.' I don't own anything very valuable. If I buy the pit bull, that would be the most valuable thing I own. I'd have to buy something to protect it then.
Norm MacDonald
I tried to make the punchline as close to the setup as I could. And I thought that was the perfect thing. If I could make the setup and the punchline identical to each other, I would create a different kind of joke.
Norm MacDonald
You know, with Hitler, the more I learn about that guy, the more I don't care for him.
Norm MacDonald