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Richard Pryor is my favorite stand-up ever.

Norm MacDonald

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Norm MacDonald
Age: 65
Born: 1959
Born: October 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Quebec
Richard
Favorite
Stand
Ever

More quotes by Norm MacDonald

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I'm not gay, so I don't know much about Broadway musicals.
Norm MacDonald
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Man, them engagement rings, boy, they cost a lot. I was looking at 'em. Cost like a thousand bucks, two thousand bucks, y'know. Three thousand bucks. Something like that- four thousand bucks. Big number divisible by a thousand, anyways.
Norm MacDonald
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Some men are tempted to violate secrecy from the uneasiness secrecy gives them, and others, merely to impress you with the extent of their confidence.
Norm MacDonald
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Proper respect to others is the most prudent rule of directing the measure of reverence due to ourselves.
Norm MacDonald
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It is the folly of weak-minded people, to imagine they are what flattery or conceit represents them and that it is useless for them to be what they are not, since they seem already to have acquired the reputation of it.
Norm MacDonald
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There are two things which a man should scrupulously avoid: giving advice that he would not follow, and asking advice when he is determined to pursue his own opinion.
Norm MacDonald
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Note to self... Sex with blow-up doll is not as good as advertised.
Norm MacDonald
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Compared to politics, I think sports is funnier, because it's inconsequential. And politics can be real important and all that. The more pointless something is, the funnier it is, you know? And the more grave or important things are... You know, some comedians can get this disease where they get serious all the time.
Norm MacDonald
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I've been offered political shows before, and I don't know anything about politics and I feel uncomfortable making political opinions - there's consequences to them. I often think I'm wrong, so I really don't like getting in political or religious discussions because of the giant possibility that I might be wrong.
Norm MacDonald
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Women of no beauty may yet be flattered to believe they possess some others of a moderate share that they have a great deal but those of elegance and charm generally know the perfection of their external graces so well, that they seem to covet that flattery most which heightens the opinion of their wit and judgment.
Norm MacDonald
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They're like ''You're an alcoholic.'' I go ''No, I'm not.'' and then-apparently that's what alcoholics say too, you know?
Norm MacDonald
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It got very tedious saying the same jokes in the same way with the same attitude.
Norm MacDonald
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I got my computer. The great thing about the computer is that you only need enough money to buy a computer and some food, and you're all right. I don't have to go to premières.
Norm MacDonald
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[sam] Kinison, when he started out, he'd come to Canada when I was first starting, and he'd always [bomb].
Norm MacDonald
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Comedy is surprises, so if you're intending to make somebody laugh and they don't laugh, that's funny.
Norm MacDonald
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Chastity is oftener owing to diffidence and shame, than to fortitude of reason or virtue.
Norm MacDonald
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I hate fame. I hate being recognized, because I don't know how to talk to people.
Norm MacDonald
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There's no show business in Canada, so everybody just did stand-up and we all thought, Oh, we'll just keep doing stand-up. And then I'm like, There's more work in the States.
Norm MacDonald
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We would seldom be deceived by flattery, did our own conceit not promote the delusion.
Norm MacDonald
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I have always loved Las Vegas. It's a traditional place for lounge comics to perform, and I love that.
Norm MacDonald