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Generally I don't like traveling around saying the exact same thing. I don't think that's a very good thing to do with your life.

Norm MacDonald

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Norm MacDonald
Age: 65
Born: 1959
Born: October 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Quebec
Like
Generally
Saying
Around
Thing
Good
Think
Thinking
Traveling
Life
Exact

More quotes by Norm MacDonald

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Chastity is oftener owing to diffidence and shame, than to fortitude of reason or virtue.
Norm MacDonald
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Proper respect to others is the most prudent rule of directing the measure of reverence due to ourselves.
Norm MacDonald
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It got very tedious saying the same jokes in the same way with the same attitude.
Norm MacDonald
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I never do impressions, but I probably should. People like that stuff.
Norm MacDonald
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This would have been a great game to watch if we didn't have any money on it.
Norm MacDonald
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I had a show that people thought used a laugh track. It wasn't it was the real audience going crazy after everything that resembled a joke, that they could technically call a joke.
Norm MacDonald
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There's no show business in Canada, so everybody just did stand-up and we all thought, Oh, we'll just keep doing stand-up. And then I'm like, There's more work in the States.
Norm MacDonald
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Compared to politics, I think sports is funnier, because it's inconsequential. And politics can be real important and all that. The more pointless something is, the funnier it is, you know? And the more grave or important things are... You know, some comedians can get this disease where they get serious all the time.
Norm MacDonald
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Some people are so much afraid of being deceived, that they never venture to trust like misers, their avarice destroys their gain.
Norm MacDonald
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I sort of have open invitations from a lot of people to do TV. But it's very hard for me to do roles in sitcoms and movies because I'm not a great actor, so if the material isn't good, I'm in torment while I do it.
Norm MacDonald
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My dad died, and my grandfather died, and my great-grandfather died. And the guy before him, I don't know. Probably died.
Norm MacDonald
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Were there no fools, there would be no flatterers.
Norm MacDonald
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Whenever I do theaters, I don't like 'em. I don't think they're right for stand-up.
Norm MacDonald
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Scientists believe they may have discovered a primitive form of life on Jupiter's moon Europa. That primitive form of life? You guessed it, Frank Stallone.
Norm MacDonald
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I started on 'Saturday Night Live' the same time Conan started on 'Late Night.' We just had a relationship because I would be upstairs in the studio and whenever he couldn't get a guest - which was often back then since he was just starting out - he would just call me down to be a guest.
Norm MacDonald
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They're like ''You're an alcoholic.'' I go ''No, I'm not.'' and then-apparently that's what alcoholics say too, you know?
Norm MacDonald
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I'm thankful for women. I think women are more intelligent than men. Also, without women, there would be no cookies.
Norm MacDonald
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Envy, like a false mirror, distorts the symmetry of the sweetest form.
Norm MacDonald
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I don't know the difference between a hippie and a hipster but, it's fun to watch either one of them get beat up.
Norm MacDonald
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Man, them engagement rings, boy, they cost a lot. I was looking at 'em. Cost like a thousand bucks, two thousand bucks, y'know. Three thousand bucks. Something like that- four thousand bucks. Big number divisible by a thousand, anyways.
Norm MacDonald