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When I started in Canada, I just did stand-up.

Norm MacDonald

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Norm MacDonald
Age: 65
Born: 1959
Born: October 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Quebec
Stand
Canada
Started

More quotes by Norm MacDonald

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I tried to make the punchline as close to the setup as I could. And I thought that was the perfect thing. If I could make the setup and the punchline identical to each other, I would create a different kind of joke.
Norm MacDonald
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There are two indiscretions that generally distinguish fools: a readiness to report whatever they hear, and a practice of communicating with secrecy what is commonly understood.
Norm MacDonald
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They say that if you're afraid of homosexuals, it means that deep down inside you're actually a homosexual yourself. That worries me because I'm afraid of dogs.
Norm MacDonald
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Happiness is less regulated by external circumstances than inward enjoyment. Whoever is happy in the satisfaction of himself feels imperturbable felicity but he, who trusts entirely to the world for the disposition of his peace, must inevitably participate [in] many privations and disappointments.
Norm MacDonald
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Few people love with the violence they hate.
Norm MacDonald
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We would seldom be deceived by flattery, did our own conceit not promote the delusion.
Norm MacDonald
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Your worst and most dangerous enemy is the person that injures you under the pretensions of friendship.
Norm MacDonald
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He that searches for praise will often find contempt.
Norm MacDonald
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In estimating the adversities of life, we would seldom have much reason to complain of the evils we suffer, did we understand the dangers we daily escape.
Norm MacDonald
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A proper disposition of time leaves a man at leisure in the very bustle of affairs without delaying the attention of his concerns to the last or giving them unnecessary application at first: it affords a season for everything by affording everything its proper season.
Norm MacDonald
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All that weak people learn from disappointment, is less confidence in future enterprise.
Norm MacDonald
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Pulp Fiction is a, uh, gritty, urban satire. Pump Friction is a uh-uh, a bunch of uh, dudes and ladies having dirty sex.
Norm MacDonald
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If you're watching a comedian on television and he's making a political point, I would say he's gotten too serious.
Norm MacDonald
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Generally I don't like traveling around saying the exact same thing. I don't think that's a very good thing to do with your life.
Norm MacDonald
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Some men mistake generosity for charity: these flatter themselves that they are giving gratuitously, whilst they are merely rewarding secret services offered their vanity.
Norm MacDonald
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In terms of merit, sports has mathematical statistics. That's how you know who the best player is.
Norm MacDonald
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Ignorance is better than knowledge misapplied.
Norm MacDonald
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With the ambitious, the failure of one expedient is the suggestion of another but with the irresolute, defeat usually occasions abandonment of purpose.
Norm MacDonald
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This is a thing I read by a scientist... it said scientists now say that a man thinks about sex once every 7.3 seconds. Now, I know what I think every 7.3 seconds. It's just a bunch of meaningless gibberish.
Norm MacDonald
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OJ Simpson was in a different kind of courtroom this week attempting to regain custody of his two children. In order to prove to the court how much he loves his kids, OJ pointed out quote 'Hey, they're still alive, aren't they?'
Norm MacDonald