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[Televised stand-up] never really makes me laugh. The only one I ever saw that I liked was Richard Pryor, and that was [shot on] film.

Norm MacDonald

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Norm MacDonald
Age: 65
Born: 1959
Born: October 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Quebec
Makes
Richard
Film
Shot
Ever
Liked
Really
Shots
Never
Laugh
Saws
Laughing
Stand
Televised

More quotes by Norm MacDonald

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Most men will go farther to give advice than to follow their own opinion.
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I got my computer. The great thing about the computer is that you only need enough money to buy a computer and some food, and you're all right. I don't have to go to premières.
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Laws, however divine in origin and institution, would be found of little coercion among men, were the administration of them not committed to mortals.
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Pulp Fiction is a, uh, gritty, urban satire. Pump Friction is a uh-uh, a bunch of uh, dudes and ladies having dirty sex.
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On Update, the only real original thing was trying to take away the cleverness of the punchline and make it as blunt as possible.
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OJ Simpson was in a different kind of courtroom this week attempting to regain custody of his two children. In order to prove to the court how much he loves his kids, OJ pointed out quote 'Hey, they're still alive, aren't they?'
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I have always loved Las Vegas. It's a traditional place for lounge comics to perform, and I love that.
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This would have been a great game to watch if we didn't have any money on it.
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You can't love your team without hating another team.
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We often suffer more from our fears, than from the dangers of our situation.
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Compared to politics, I think sports is funnier, because it's inconsequential. And politics can be real important and all that. The more pointless something is, the funnier it is, you know? And the more grave or important things are... You know, some comedians can get this disease where they get serious all the time.
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Scientists believe they may have discovered a primitive form of life on Jupiter's moon Europa. That primitive form of life? You guessed it, Frank Stallone.
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Though you may be last to discover your follies, be always first to correct them.
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You're used to a TV show, and TV is just made for TV shows. It's not made for live events.So anyways, I was resistant to it, but I did it anyway.
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It is easier to hate those we love, than love those whom we have hated.
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I don't have any ego about it, but I find there's not a great work ethic in show business. A lot of people are in it to make money, and coming from stand-up, you have to work so hard because almost nothing works, and if you lose the audience for three minutes, you're dead.
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A capacity for hating the object of desire is, perhaps, the best cure for love in cases of disappointment.
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There are two things which a man should scrupulously avoid: giving advice that he would not follow, and asking advice when he is determined to pursue his own opinion.
Norm MacDonald
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Envy, like a false mirror, distorts the symmetry of the sweetest form.
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They say that if you're afraid of homosexuals, it means that deep down inside you're actually a homosexual yourself. That worries me because I'm afraid of dogs.
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