Quote

This is a thing I read by a scientist... it said scientists now say that a man thinks about sex once every 7.3 seconds. Now, I know what I think every 7.3 seconds. It's just a bunch of meaningless gibberish.

Norm MacDonald

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Norm MacDonald
Age: 65
Born: 1959
Born: October 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Quebec
Thinking
Scientist
Thinks
Sex
Read
Gibberish
Thing
Meaningless
Every
Scientists
Men
Seconds
Think
Bunch

More quotes by Norm MacDonald

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I was in my peak physical condition when I was about like, uh... one. Oh God, I looked good, young and fresh! You wouldn't know me now if you'd seen me when I was one, you know? I even looked good for my age. People would come up to me and go, what are you, zero? And I'd go, no, I'm one over here!
Norm MacDonald
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In terms of merit, sports has mathematical statistics. That's how you know who the best player is.
Norm MacDonald
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I had a show that people thought used a laugh track. It wasn't it was the real audience going crazy after everything that resembled a joke, that they could technically call a joke.
Norm MacDonald
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Some men are tempted to violate secrecy from the uneasiness secrecy gives them, and others, merely to impress you with the extent of their confidence.
Norm MacDonald
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The man that does not fear punishment, little regards crime.
Norm MacDonald
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I want you to buy this pit bull. This will protect your valuables.' I don't own anything very valuable. If I buy the pit bull, that would be the most valuable thing I own. I'd have to buy something to protect it then.
Norm MacDonald
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Imprudent restrictions often force youth farther than enticement would carry them and careless limitation is frequently worse than no injunction.
Norm MacDonald
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There are two indiscretions that generally distinguish fools: a readiness to report whatever they hear, and a practice of communicating with secrecy what is commonly understood.
Norm MacDonald
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They're like ''You're an alcoholic.'' I go ''No, I'm not.'' and then-apparently that's what alcoholics say too, you know?
Norm MacDonald
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Pulp Fiction is a, uh, gritty, urban satire. Pump Friction is a uh-uh, a bunch of uh, dudes and ladies having dirty sex.
Norm MacDonald
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I'm no good at anything but comedy, which I think I'm good at. I'm absolutely no good at networking I'm terrible at acting I'm terrible at dealing with executives I'm terrible at collaborating. And I say whatever I want to say. But I think I'm good enough at comedy that I can survive. And I don't really have an ambition for money.
Norm MacDonald
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He that searches for praise will often find contempt.
Norm MacDonald
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I like doing a funny show where I don't have to act and fall in love with a girl.
Norm MacDonald
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A capacity for hating the object of desire is, perhaps, the best cure for love in cases of disappointment.
Norm MacDonald
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You ever see 'The Dating Game'? That's a weird game show. The prize on that show: another contestant. Talk about cheap.
Norm MacDonald
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I just like doing standup, that's all I'm interested in or good at.
Norm MacDonald
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Scientists believe they may have discovered a primitive form of life on Jupiter's moon Europa. That primitive form of life? You guessed it, Frank Stallone.
Norm MacDonald
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They that are virtuous from principle may receive confidence in every capacity but they that are so from custom or habit, are capable of trust only in matters of ordinary and settled occurrence.
Norm MacDonald
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A readiness to excuse some faults, shows a disposition to commit others.
Norm MacDonald
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In love, first please the eye, then win the heart.
Norm MacDonald