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I want you to buy this pit bull. This will protect your valuables.' I don't own anything very valuable. If I buy the pit bull, that would be the most valuable thing I own. I'd have to buy something to protect it then.
Norm MacDonald
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Norm MacDonald
Age: 65
Born: 1959
Born: October 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Quebec
Bulls
Valuable
Protect
Anything
Thing
Something
Valuables
Would
Bull
Pits
More quotes by Norm MacDonald
I like doing a funny show where I don't have to act and fall in love with a girl.
Norm MacDonald
The most frequent cause of regret for what we have done is because its effects interfere with what we would do.
Norm MacDonald
Flattery succeeds best on minds previously occupied by conceit.
Norm MacDonald
Were there no fools, there would be no flatterers.
Norm MacDonald
During misfortunes, nothing aggravates our condition more, than to be esteemed deserving of them.
Norm MacDonald
We would seldom be deceived by flattery, did our own conceit not promote the delusion.
Norm MacDonald
In love, first please the eye, then win the heart.
Norm MacDonald
[sam] Kinison, when he started out, he'd come to Canada when I was first starting, and he'd always [bomb].
Norm MacDonald
There are two things which a man should scrupulously avoid: giving advice that he would not follow, and asking advice when he is determined to pursue his own opinion.
Norm MacDonald
The promises we break are usually such as we are most forward in making.
Norm MacDonald
There's that saying, I don't know art, but I know what I like. The inverse is kind of true. I know art, but I don't know what I like. You get so immersed in it that nothing appeals to you.
Norm MacDonald
I would love to stay at SNL forever. But you can't stay in the same place. People think you're a loser.
Norm MacDonald
I tried to make the punchline as close to the setup as I could. And I thought that was the perfect thing. If I could make the setup and the punchline identical to each other, I would create a different kind of joke.
Norm MacDonald
Happiness is less regulated by external circumstances than inward enjoyment. Whoever is happy in the satisfaction of himself feels imperturbable felicity but he, who trusts entirely to the world for the disposition of his peace, must inevitably participate [in] many privations and disappointments.
Norm MacDonald
Ever see this? It's a homeless guy but he's got a dog... The dog's really thrilled with this idea. The dog's going, Hey pal, I can do this by myself pretty well. The longest walk in the world you got me on here.
Norm MacDonald
I don't know anything about politics. Like, zero. Nothing.
Norm MacDonald
Laws, however divine in origin and institution, would be found of little coercion among men, were the administration of them not committed to mortals.
Norm MacDonald
There is a very prevalent tenet with youth, that good company is every thing desirable, and that bad is even better than none.
Norm MacDonald
Whenever I do theaters, I don't like 'em. I don't think they're right for stand-up.
Norm MacDonald
It is easier to hate those we love, than love those whom we have hated.
Norm MacDonald
