Quote

They're like ''You're an alcoholic.'' I go ''No, I'm not.'' and then-apparently that's what alcoholics say too, you know?

Norm MacDonald

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Norm MacDonald
Age: 64
Born: 1959
Born: October 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Quebec
Apparently
Like
Alcoholic
Alcoholics

More quotes by Norm MacDonald

Image
Ignorance is better than knowledge misapplied.
Norm MacDonald
Image
It is the folly of weak-minded people, to imagine they are what flattery or conceit represents them and that it is useless for them to be what they are not, since they seem already to have acquired the reputation of it.
Norm MacDonald
Image
During misfortunes, nothing aggravates our condition more, than to be esteemed deserving of them.
Norm MacDonald
Image
When I started in Canada, I just did stand-up.
Norm MacDonald
Image
I started on 'Saturday Night Live' the same time Conan started on 'Late Night.' We just had a relationship because I would be upstairs in the studio and whenever he couldn't get a guest - which was often back then since he was just starting out - he would just call me down to be a guest.
Norm MacDonald
Image
We would seldom be deceived by flattery, did our own conceit not promote the delusion.
Norm MacDonald
Image
I was in my peak physical condition when I was about like, uh... one. Oh God, I looked good, young and fresh! You wouldn't know me now if you'd seen me when I was one, you know? I even looked good for my age. People would come up to me and go, what are you, zero? And I'd go, no, I'm one over here!
Norm MacDonald
Image
The Rolling Stones reunited for a twenty-fifth anniversary tour last week. Keith Richards said that he's happy to continue to do what he's been doing for the past twenty-five years: cheating death.
Norm MacDonald
Image
[sam] Kinison, when he started out, he'd come to Canada when I was first starting, and he'd always [bomb].
Norm MacDonald
Image
I don't have any ambition.
Norm MacDonald
Image
I've always been very averse to innuendo, especially sexual. I find it cowardly or something.
Norm MacDonald
Image
I don't know anything about politics. Like, zero. Nothing.
Norm MacDonald
Image
On Update, the only real original thing was trying to take away the cleverness of the punchline and make it as blunt as possible.
Norm MacDonald
Image
Laws, however divine in origin and institution, would be found of little coercion among men, were the administration of them not committed to mortals.
Norm MacDonald
Image
There's that saying, I don't know art, but I know what I like. The inverse is kind of true. I know art, but I don't know what I like. You get so immersed in it that nothing appeals to you.
Norm MacDonald
Image
They that are virtuous from principle may receive confidence in every capacity but they that are so from custom or habit, are capable of trust only in matters of ordinary and settled occurrence.
Norm MacDonald
Image
Man, them engagement rings, boy, they cost a lot. I was looking at 'em. Cost like a thousand bucks, two thousand bucks, y'know. Three thousand bucks. Something like that- four thousand bucks. Big number divisible by a thousand, anyways.
Norm MacDonald
Image
I've seen people in theaters, and it just doesn't work, because you're talking to the guy next to you the whole time.
Norm MacDonald
Image
You know, with Hitler, the more I learn about that guy, the more I don't care for him.
Norm MacDonald
Image
I tried to make the punchline as close to the setup as I could. And I thought that was the perfect thing. If I could make the setup and the punchline identical to each other, I would create a different kind of joke.
Norm MacDonald