Quote

Scientists believe they may have discovered a primitive form of life on Jupiter's moon Europa. That primitive form of life? You guessed it, Frank Stallone.

Norm MacDonald

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Norm MacDonald
Age: 65
Born: 1959
Born: October 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Quebec
May
Jupiter
Believe
Primitive
Life
Frank
Scientists
Discovered
Scientist
Europa
Moon
Stallone
Form
Guessed

More quotes by Norm MacDonald

Image
You can't love your team without hating another team.
Norm MacDonald
Image
This is a thing I read by a scientist... it said scientists now say that a man thinks about sex once every 7.3 seconds. Now, I know what I think every 7.3 seconds. It's just a bunch of meaningless gibberish.
Norm MacDonald
Image
My dad had this thing - everyone in Canada wants to play hockey that's all they want to do. So when I was a kid, whenever we skated my dad would not let us on the ice without hockey sticks, because of this insane fear we would become figure skaters!
Norm MacDonald
Image
Flattery succeeds best on minds previously occupied by conceit.
Norm MacDonald
Image
Few criminals die sensible of their crimes.
Norm MacDonald
Image
Back in the old days, a man could just get sick and die. Now they have to wage a battle. So my Uncle Bert is waging a courageous battle, which I've seen, because I go and visit him. And this is the battle: he's lying in the hospital bed, with a thing in his arm, watching Matlock on the TV.
Norm MacDonald
Image
There are two things which a man should scrupulously avoid: giving advice that he would not follow, and asking advice when he is determined to pursue his own opinion.
Norm MacDonald
Image
Stand-up has the best writers, because it's the hardest writing by a million miles.
Norm MacDonald
Image
None seem to bear the imputation of supposed guilt with greater intolerance than such as are, on other occasions, obviously culpable of vice or crime.
Norm MacDonald
Image
There's that saying, I don't know art, but I know what I like. The inverse is kind of true. I know art, but I don't know what I like. You get so immersed in it that nothing appeals to you.
Norm MacDonald
Image
You ever see 'The Dating Game'? That's a weird game show. The prize on that show: another contestant. Talk about cheap.
Norm MacDonald
Image
I'm no good at anything but comedy, which I think I'm good at. I'm absolutely no good at networking I'm terrible at acting I'm terrible at dealing with executives I'm terrible at collaborating. And I say whatever I want to say. But I think I'm good enough at comedy that I can survive. And I don't really have an ambition for money.
Norm MacDonald
Image
It is easier to hate those we love, than love those whom we have hated.
Norm MacDonald
Image
During misfortunes, nothing aggravates our condition more, than to be esteemed deserving of them.
Norm MacDonald
Image
In giving advice, aptitude is often less to be considered, than seasonableness.
Norm MacDonald
Image
The promises we break are usually such as we are most forward in making.
Norm MacDonald
Image
The man that does not fear punishment, little regards crime.
Norm MacDonald
Image
The Rolling Stones reunited for a twenty-fifth anniversary tour last week. Keith Richards said that he's happy to continue to do what he's been doing for the past twenty-five years: cheating death.
Norm MacDonald
Image
I don't care for sex. I find it an embarrassing, dull exercise. I prefer sports, where you can win.
Norm MacDonald
Image
He that searches for praise will often find contempt.
Norm MacDonald