Quote

Note to self... Sex with blow-up doll is not as good as advertised.

Norm MacDonald

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Norm MacDonald
Age: 65
Born: 1959
Born: October 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Quebec
Note
Notes
Blow
Sex
Self
Good
Advertised
Doll
Dolls

More quotes by Norm MacDonald

Image
Kenny G has a Christmas album out this year. Hey, happy birthday Jesus! Hope you like crap!
Norm MacDonald
Image
Back in the old days, a man could just get sick and die. Now they have to wage a battle. So my Uncle Bert is waging a courageous battle, which I've seen, because I go and visit him. And this is the battle: he's lying in the hospital bed, with a thing in his arm, watching Matlock on the TV.
Norm MacDonald
Image
Some men are tempted to violate secrecy from the uneasiness secrecy gives them, and others, merely to impress you with the extent of their confidence.
Norm MacDonald
Image
I've shown people Richard Pryor who've never seen him, and most of them don't like him.
Norm MacDonald
Image
Proper respect to others is the most prudent rule of directing the measure of reverence due to ourselves.
Norm MacDonald
Image
This would have been a great game to watch if we didn't have any money on it.
Norm MacDonald
Image
My dad had this thing - everyone in Canada wants to play hockey that's all they want to do. So when I was a kid, whenever we skated my dad would not let us on the ice without hockey sticks, because of this insane fear we would become figure skaters!
Norm MacDonald
Image
The young compliment their greatness on the number of their friends the old, on the confidence of them.
Norm MacDonald
Image
Note to self: no matter how bad life gets, there's always beer.
Norm MacDonald
Image
After months of speculation, the sitcom star Ellen DeGeneres admitted that yes, she's gay. Inspired by her courage, today, diet-guru Richard Simmons admitted that he is really, really, really, really gay.
Norm MacDonald
Image
We would seldom be deceived by flattery, did our own conceit not promote the delusion.
Norm MacDonald
Image
During misfortunes, nothing aggravates our condition more, than to be esteemed deserving of them.
Norm MacDonald
Image
The vanity of being asked advice often makes us confirm the opinion of those that consult us.
Norm MacDonald
Image
We often suffer more from our fears, than from the dangers of our situation.
Norm MacDonald
Image
I'm no good at anything but comedy, which I think I'm good at. I'm absolutely no good at networking I'm terrible at acting I'm terrible at dealing with executives I'm terrible at collaborating. And I say whatever I want to say. But I think I'm good enough at comedy that I can survive. And I don't really have an ambition for money.
Norm MacDonald
Image
You know, with Hitler, the more I learn about that guy, the more I don't care for him.
Norm MacDonald
Image
The only two TV shows I saw do that, where they don't warm them up and you can really bomb, was Saturday Night Live - and that's why it gets a lot of heat, too. Obviously it gets criticism fairly, too. But a lot of it is because Lorne [Michaels] lets the audience decide and doesn't force them to laugh.
Norm MacDonald
Image
It is necessary to be tolerant, in order to be tolerated.
Norm MacDonald
Image
When I was a kid, everybody that played golf was an old man. Until Tiger showed up, they weren't in very good shape.
Norm MacDonald
Image
Women of no beauty may yet be flattered to believe they possess some others of a moderate share that they have a great deal but those of elegance and charm generally know the perfection of their external graces so well, that they seem to covet that flattery most which heightens the opinion of their wit and judgment.
Norm MacDonald