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I don't care for sex. I find it an embarrassing, dull exercise. I prefer sports, where you can win.

Norm MacDonald

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Norm MacDonald
Age: 65
Born: 1959
Born: October 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Quebec
Exercise
Sports
Winning
Care
Find
Embarrassing
Dull
Prefer
Sex

More quotes by Norm MacDonald

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Happiness is less regulated by external circumstances than inward enjoyment. Whoever is happy in the satisfaction of himself feels imperturbable felicity but he, who trusts entirely to the world for the disposition of his peace, must inevitably participate [in] many privations and disappointments.
Norm MacDonald
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Chastity is oftener owing to diffidence and shame, than to fortitude of reason or virtue.
Norm MacDonald
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Back in the old days, a man could just get sick and die. Now they have to wage a battle. So my Uncle Bert is waging a courageous battle, which I've seen, because I go and visit him. And this is the battle: he's lying in the hospital bed, with a thing in his arm, watching Matlock on the TV.
Norm MacDonald
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When I was a kid, everybody that played golf was an old man. Until Tiger showed up, they weren't in very good shape.
Norm MacDonald
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All that weak people learn from disappointment, is less confidence in future enterprise.
Norm MacDonald
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After months of speculation, the sitcom star Ellen DeGeneres admitted that yes, she's gay. Inspired by her courage, today, diet-guru Richard Simmons admitted that he is really, really, really, really gay.
Norm MacDonald
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I like doing a funny show where I don't have to act and fall in love with a girl.
Norm MacDonald
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The promises we break are usually such as we are most forward in making.
Norm MacDonald
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He that searches for praise will often find contempt.
Norm MacDonald
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You ever see 'The Dating Game'? That's a weird game show. The prize on that show: another contestant. Talk about cheap.
Norm MacDonald
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There's no show business in Canada, so everybody just did stand-up and we all thought, Oh, we'll just keep doing stand-up. And then I'm like, There's more work in the States.
Norm MacDonald
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I don't know the difference between a hippie and a hipster but, it's fun to watch either one of them get beat up.
Norm MacDonald
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I'm not gay, so I don't know much about Broadway musicals.
Norm MacDonald
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With the ambitious, the failure of one expedient is the suggestion of another but with the irresolute, defeat usually occasions abandonment of purpose.
Norm MacDonald
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My dad had this thing - everyone in Canada wants to play hockey that's all they want to do. So when I was a kid, whenever we skated my dad would not let us on the ice without hockey sticks, because of this insane fear we would become figure skaters!
Norm MacDonald
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There are two things which a man should scrupulously avoid: giving advice that he would not follow, and asking advice when he is determined to pursue his own opinion.
Norm MacDonald
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You know, with Hitler, the more I learn about that guy, the more I don't care for him.
Norm MacDonald
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Hypocrisy is the outward acknowledgment of inward shame.
Norm MacDonald
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I don't know anything about politics. Like, zero. Nothing.
Norm MacDonald
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Note to self... Sex with blow-up doll is not as good as advertised.
Norm MacDonald