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You know, with Hitler, the more I learn about that guy, the more I don't care for him.

Norm MacDonald

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Norm MacDonald
Age: 65
Born: 1959
Born: October 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Quebec
Hitler
Guy
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More quotes by Norm MacDonald

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Some men mistake generosity for charity: these flatter themselves that they are giving gratuitously, whilst they are merely rewarding secret services offered their vanity.
Norm MacDonald
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My dad died, and my grandfather died, and my great-grandfather died. And the guy before him, I don't know. Probably died.
Norm MacDonald
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I just like doing standup, that's all I'm interested in or good at.
Norm MacDonald
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The man that does not fear punishment, little regards crime.
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It is the folly of weak-minded people, to imagine they are what flattery or conceit represents them and that it is useless for them to be what they are not, since they seem already to have acquired the reputation of it.
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Some people are so much afraid of being deceived, that they never venture to trust like misers, their avarice destroys their gain.
Norm MacDonald
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The most frequent cause of regret for what we have done is because its effects interfere with what we would do.
Norm MacDonald
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During misfortunes, nothing aggravates our condition more, than to be esteemed deserving of them.
Norm MacDonald
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In estimating the adversities of life, we would seldom have much reason to complain of the evils we suffer, did we understand the dangers we daily escape.
Norm MacDonald
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Women of no beauty may yet be flattered to believe they possess some others of a moderate share that they have a great deal but those of elegance and charm generally know the perfection of their external graces so well, that they seem to covet that flattery most which heightens the opinion of their wit and judgment.
Norm MacDonald
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I don't have any ambition.
Norm MacDonald
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Note to self... Sex with blow-up doll is not as good as advertised.
Norm MacDonald
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Proper respect to others is the most prudent rule of directing the measure of reverence due to ourselves.
Norm MacDonald
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[Televised stand-up] never really makes me laugh. The only one I ever saw that I liked was Richard Pryor, and that was [shot on] film.
Norm MacDonald
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This would have been a great game to watch if we didn't have any money on it.
Norm MacDonald
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They that are virtuous from principle may receive confidence in every capacity but they that are so from custom or habit, are capable of trust only in matters of ordinary and settled occurrence.
Norm MacDonald
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Note to self: no matter how bad life gets, there's always beer.
Norm MacDonald
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I love writing - it's the best. But I really hate collaboration.
Norm MacDonald
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In giving advice, aptitude is often less to be considered, than seasonableness.
Norm MacDonald
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[sam] Kinison, when he started out, he'd come to Canada when I was first starting, and he'd always [bomb].
Norm MacDonald