Quote

Many people are skeptical about marriage of Michael Jackson and Lisa Marie Pressley. They say, Lisa Marie is more of a sit at home type, while Michael Jackson is more of a homosexual pedophile.

Norm MacDonald

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Norm MacDonald
Age: 65
Born: 1959
Born: October 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Quebec
Many
Marie
People
Jackson
Skeptical
Homosexual
Michael
Marriage
Type
Pedophile
Home
Lisa

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This is a thing I read by a scientist... it said scientists now say that a man thinks about sex once every 7.3 seconds. Now, I know what I think every 7.3 seconds. It's just a bunch of meaningless gibberish.
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There is a very prevalent tenet with youth, that good company is every thing desirable, and that bad is even better than none.
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We would seldom be deceived by flattery, did our own conceit not promote the delusion.
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Proper respect to others is the most prudent rule of directing the measure of reverence due to ourselves.
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It is the folly of weak-minded people, to imagine they are what flattery or conceit represents them and that it is useless for them to be what they are not, since they seem already to have acquired the reputation of it.
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OJ Simpson was in a different kind of courtroom this week attempting to regain custody of his two children. In order to prove to the court how much he loves his kids, OJ pointed out quote 'Hey, they're still alive, aren't they?'
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I've always been very averse to innuendo, especially sexual. I find it cowardly or something.
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Laws, however divine in origin and institution, would be found of little coercion among men, were the administration of them not committed to mortals.
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Though you may be last to discover your follies, be always first to correct them.
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Happiness is less regulated by external circumstances than inward enjoyment. Whoever is happy in the satisfaction of himself feels imperturbable felicity but he, who trusts entirely to the world for the disposition of his peace, must inevitably participate [in] many privations and disappointments.
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The man that does not fear punishment, little regards crime.
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My dad died, and my grandfather died, and my great-grandfather died. And the guy before him, I don't know. Probably died.
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My dad had this thing - everyone in Canada wants to play hockey that's all they want to do. So when I was a kid, whenever we skated my dad would not let us on the ice without hockey sticks, because of this insane fear we would become figure skaters!
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With the ambitious, the failure of one expedient is the suggestion of another but with the irresolute, defeat usually occasions abandonment of purpose.
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I had a show that people thought used a laugh track. It wasn't it was the real audience going crazy after everything that resembled a joke, that they could technically call a joke.
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None seem to bear the imputation of supposed guilt with greater intolerance than such as are, on other occasions, obviously culpable of vice or crime.
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I like doing a funny show where I don't have to act and fall in love with a girl.
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The promises we break are usually such as we are most forward in making.
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I generally have a real strong idea or a strong punchline, and I just try to get to it by rambling around, as I don't like to memorize words.
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