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There are two indiscretions that generally distinguish fools: a readiness to report whatever they hear, and a practice of communicating with secrecy what is commonly understood.

Norm MacDonald

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Norm MacDonald
Age: 64
Born: 1959
Born: October 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Quebec
Understood
Commonly
Fool
Distinguish
Hear
Secrecy
Practice
Report
Whatever
Fools
Two
Reports
Indiscretions
Generally
Communicating
Communicate
Readiness

More quotes by Norm MacDonald

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I don't have any ego about it, but I find there's not a great work ethic in show business. A lot of people are in it to make money, and coming from stand-up, you have to work so hard because almost nothing works, and if you lose the audience for three minutes, you're dead.
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It is easier to hate those we love, than love those whom we have hated.
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The Rolling Stones reunited for a twenty-fifth anniversary tour last week. Keith Richards said that he's happy to continue to do what he's been doing for the past twenty-five years: cheating death.
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In terms of merit, sports has mathematical statistics. That's how you know who the best player is.
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With the ambitious, the failure of one expedient is the suggestion of another but with the irresolute, defeat usually occasions abandonment of purpose.
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There are two things which a man should scrupulously avoid: giving advice that he would not follow, and asking advice when he is determined to pursue his own opinion.
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Many frequently change their principles, but seldom their practices.
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Whenever I do theaters, I don't like 'em. I don't think they're right for stand-up.
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A proper disposition of time leaves a man at leisure in the very bustle of affairs without delaying the attention of his concerns to the last or giving them unnecessary application at first: it affords a season for everything by affording everything its proper season.
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I want you to buy this pit bull. This will protect your valuables.' I don't own anything very valuable. If I buy the pit bull, that would be the most valuable thing I own. I'd have to buy something to protect it then.
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Proper respect to others is the most prudent rule of directing the measure of reverence due to ourselves.
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Ignorance is better than knowledge misapplied.
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Imprudent restrictions often force youth farther than enticement would carry them and careless limitation is frequently worse than no injunction.
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When I hear a guy lost a battle to cancer, that really did bother me, that that's a term. It implies that he failed and that somebody else that defeated cancer is heroic and courageous.
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The man that does not fear punishment, little regards crime.
Norm MacDonald
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All that weak people learn from disappointment, is less confidence in future enterprise.
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When I was a kid, everybody that played golf was an old man. Until Tiger showed up, they weren't in very good shape.
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It is the folly of weak-minded people, to imagine they are what flattery or conceit represents them and that it is useless for them to be what they are not, since they seem already to have acquired the reputation of it.
Norm MacDonald
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The joy a person is usually seen to express at the conversion of another to his opinion is seldom more than the impulse of egotistical satisfaction at being considered worthy of didactic imitation.
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I've seen people in theaters, and it just doesn't work, because you're talking to the guy next to you the whole time.
Norm MacDonald