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There are two indiscretions that generally distinguish fools: a readiness to report whatever they hear, and a practice of communicating with secrecy what is commonly understood.

Norm MacDonald

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Norm MacDonald
Age: 65
Born: 1959
Born: October 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Quebec
Communicate
Readiness
Understood
Commonly
Fool
Distinguish
Hear
Secrecy
Practice
Report
Whatever
Fools
Two
Reports
Indiscretions
Generally
Communicating

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The young compliment their greatness on the number of their friends the old, on the confidence of them.
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Most men appear wiser in their doubts than in their belief.
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I've been offered political shows before, and I don't know anything about politics and I feel uncomfortable making political opinions - there's consequences to them. I often think I'm wrong, so I really don't like getting in political or religious discussions because of the giant possibility that I might be wrong.
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All that weak people learn from disappointment, is less confidence in future enterprise.
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[sam] Kinison, when he started out, he'd come to Canada when I was first starting, and he'd always [bomb].
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In estimating the adversities of life, we would seldom have much reason to complain of the evils we suffer, did we understand the dangers we daily escape.
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Stand-up has the best writers, because it's the hardest writing by a million miles.
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Chastity is oftener owing to diffidence and shame, than to fortitude of reason or virtue.
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Note to self: no matter how bad life gets, there's always beer.
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There's that saying, I don't know art, but I know what I like. The inverse is kind of true. I know art, but I don't know what I like. You get so immersed in it that nothing appeals to you.
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Pulp Fiction is a, uh, gritty, urban satire. Pump Friction is a uh-uh, a bunch of uh, dudes and ladies having dirty sex.
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I love writing - it's the best. But I really hate collaboration.
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I've always been very averse to innuendo, especially sexual. I find it cowardly or something.
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The joy a person is usually seen to express at the conversion of another to his opinion is seldom more than the impulse of egotistical satisfaction at being considered worthy of didactic imitation.
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As evacuation eases the body, so occasional ejectment of passion seems to appease the agonies of the soul, and dispose to tranquility the agitations of the heart.
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I don't do much. I'm too lazy. That's my problem. Hang around my couch, watching the TV. Just too lazy. I realized this the other day, I get hit my a truck tomorrow - a big truck could hit me - paralyze me from the neck down. Wouldn't effect my lifestyle a bit really.
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The vanity of being asked advice often makes us confirm the opinion of those that consult us.
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Few criminals die sensible of their crimes.
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This would have been a great game to watch if we didn't have any money on it.
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Ignorance is better than knowledge misapplied.
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