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My dad died, and my grandfather died, and my great-grandfather died. And the guy before him, I don't know. Probably died.

Norm MacDonald

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Norm MacDonald
Age: 64
Born: 1959
Born: October 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Quebec
Dad
Died
Comedy
Probably
Guy
Funny
Great
Grandfather

More quotes by Norm MacDonald

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After months of speculation, the sitcom star Ellen DeGeneres admitted that yes, she's gay. Inspired by her courage, today, diet-guru Richard Simmons admitted that he is really, really, really, really gay.
Norm MacDonald
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With the ambitious, the failure of one expedient is the suggestion of another but with the irresolute, defeat usually occasions abandonment of purpose.
Norm MacDonald
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None seem to bear the imputation of supposed guilt with greater intolerance than such as are, on other occasions, obviously culpable of vice or crime.
Norm MacDonald
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The promises we break are usually such as we are most forward in making.
Norm MacDonald
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It is necessary to be tolerant, in order to be tolerated.
Norm MacDonald
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You know, with Hitler, the more I learn about that guy, the more I don't care for him.
Norm MacDonald
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Scientists believe they may have discovered a primitive form of life on Jupiter's moon Europa. That primitive form of life? You guessed it, Frank Stallone.
Norm MacDonald
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You ever see 'The Dating Game'? That's a weird game show. The prize on that show: another contestant. Talk about cheap.
Norm MacDonald
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I don't have any ego about it, but I find there's not a great work ethic in show business. A lot of people are in it to make money, and coming from stand-up, you have to work so hard because almost nothing works, and if you lose the audience for three minutes, you're dead.
Norm MacDonald
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Whenever I do theaters, I don't like 'em. I don't think they're right for stand-up.
Norm MacDonald
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There are two things which a man should scrupulously avoid: giving advice that he would not follow, and asking advice when he is determined to pursue his own opinion.
Norm MacDonald
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[sam] Kinison, when he started out, he'd come to Canada when I was first starting, and he'd always [bomb].
Norm MacDonald
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A proper disposition of time leaves a man at leisure in the very bustle of affairs without delaying the attention of his concerns to the last or giving them unnecessary application at first: it affords a season for everything by affording everything its proper season.
Norm MacDonald
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You ever be having a really good dream, and then, uh- right in the middle of the dream you wake up, right in the best part of the dream? And there you are, back in your stinkin' life again? Man, that's rough, eh?
Norm MacDonald
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Proper respect to others is the most prudent rule of directing the measure of reverence due to ourselves.
Norm MacDonald
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Ignorance is better than knowledge misapplied.
Norm MacDonald
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I have always loved Las Vegas. It's a traditional place for lounge comics to perform, and I love that.
Norm MacDonald
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I started on 'Saturday Night Live' the same time Conan started on 'Late Night.' We just had a relationship because I would be upstairs in the studio and whenever he couldn't get a guest - which was often back then since he was just starting out - he would just call me down to be a guest.
Norm MacDonald
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I tried to make the punchline as close to the setup as I could. And I thought that was the perfect thing. If I could make the setup and the punchline identical to each other, I would create a different kind of joke.
Norm MacDonald
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Last Christmas, I got the worst gift a guy ever gave me. He gave me a lottery ticket... what's the guy even thinking there. Here you go... nothing! Merry Christmas! It's nothing!
Norm MacDonald