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Education makes some men wiser, others more ridiculous and foolish!

Norm MacDonald

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Norm MacDonald
Age: 65
Born: 1959
Born: October 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Quebec
Men
Wiser
Foolish
Ridiculous
Education
Makes
Others

More quotes by Norm MacDonald

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I want you to buy this pit bull. This will protect your valuables.' I don't own anything very valuable. If I buy the pit bull, that would be the most valuable thing I own. I'd have to buy something to protect it then.
Norm MacDonald
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Ever see this? It's a homeless guy but he's got a dog... The dog's really thrilled with this idea. The dog's going, Hey pal, I can do this by myself pretty well. The longest walk in the world you got me on here.
Norm MacDonald
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A readiness to excuse some faults, shows a disposition to commit others.
Norm MacDonald
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Back in the old days, a man could just get sick and die. Now they have to wage a battle. So my Uncle Bert is waging a courageous battle, which I've seen, because I go and visit him. And this is the battle: he's lying in the hospital bed, with a thing in his arm, watching Matlock on the TV.
Norm MacDonald
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Your worst and most dangerous enemy is the person that injures you under the pretensions of friendship.
Norm MacDonald
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The promises we break are usually such as we are most forward in making.
Norm MacDonald
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Note to self... Sex with blow-up doll is not as good as advertised.
Norm MacDonald
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I've shown people Richard Pryor who've never seen him, and most of them don't like him.
Norm MacDonald
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Though you may be last to discover your follies, be always first to correct them.
Norm MacDonald
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I hate fame. I hate being recognized, because I don't know how to talk to people.
Norm MacDonald
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Chastity is oftener owing to diffidence and shame, than to fortitude of reason or virtue.
Norm MacDonald
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If you're watching a comedian on television and he's making a political point, I would say he's gotten too serious.
Norm MacDonald
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There's no show business in Canada, so everybody just did stand-up and we all thought, Oh, we'll just keep doing stand-up. And then I'm like, There's more work in the States.
Norm MacDonald
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Envy, like a false mirror, distorts the symmetry of the sweetest form.
Norm MacDonald
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Some men mistake generosity for charity: these flatter themselves that they are giving gratuitously, whilst they are merely rewarding secret services offered their vanity.
Norm MacDonald
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Compared to politics, I think sports is funnier, because it's inconsequential. And politics can be real important and all that. The more pointless something is, the funnier it is, you know? And the more grave or important things are... You know, some comedians can get this disease where they get serious all the time.
Norm MacDonald
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When I hear a guy lost a battle to cancer, that really did bother me, that that's a term. It implies that he failed and that somebody else that defeated cancer is heroic and courageous.
Norm MacDonald
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The joy a person is usually seen to express at the conversion of another to his opinion is seldom more than the impulse of egotistical satisfaction at being considered worthy of didactic imitation.
Norm MacDonald
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I'm thankful for women. I think women are more intelligent than men. Also, without women, there would be no cookies.
Norm MacDonald
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There are two indiscretions that generally distinguish fools: a readiness to report whatever they hear, and a practice of communicating with secrecy what is commonly understood.
Norm MacDonald