Quote

As evacuation eases the body, so occasional ejectment of passion seems to appease the agonies of the soul, and dispose to tranquility the agitations of the heart.

Norm MacDonald

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Norm MacDonald
Age: 65
Born: 1959
Born: October 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Quebec
Heart
Tranquility
Occasional
Agitations
Agony
Evacuation
Ease
Eases
Passion
Agonies
Seems
Dispose
Body
Appease
Soul
Agitation

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My dad died, and my grandfather died, and my great-grandfather died. And the guy before him, I don't know. Probably died.
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I was in my peak physical condition when I was about like, uh... one. Oh God, I looked good, young and fresh! You wouldn't know me now if you'd seen me when I was one, you know? I even looked good for my age. People would come up to me and go, what are you, zero? And I'd go, no, I'm one over here!
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Richard Pryor is my favorite stand-up ever.
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Envy, like a false mirror, distorts the symmetry of the sweetest form.
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The man that does not fear punishment, little regards crime.
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A capacity for hating the object of desire is, perhaps, the best cure for love in cases of disappointment.
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There are two indiscretions that generally distinguish fools: a readiness to report whatever they hear, and a practice of communicating with secrecy what is commonly understood.
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It is necessary to be tolerant, in order to be tolerated.
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Some men are tempted to violate secrecy from the uneasiness secrecy gives them, and others, merely to impress you with the extent of their confidence.
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The young compliment their greatness on the number of their friends the old, on the confidence of them.
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They that are virtuous from principle may receive confidence in every capacity but they that are so from custom or habit, are capable of trust only in matters of ordinary and settled occurrence.
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Last Christmas, I got the worst gift a guy ever gave me. He gave me a lottery ticket... what's the guy even thinking there. Here you go... nothing! Merry Christmas! It's nothing!
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Flattery succeeds best on minds previously occupied by conceit.
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Note to self... Sex with blow-up doll is not as good as advertised.
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Chastity is oftener owing to diffidence and shame, than to fortitude of reason or virtue.
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The only two TV shows I saw do that, where they don't warm them up and you can really bomb, was Saturday Night Live - and that's why it gets a lot of heat, too. Obviously it gets criticism fairly, too. But a lot of it is because Lorne [Michaels] lets the audience decide and doesn't force them to laugh.
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Happiness is less regulated by external circumstances than inward enjoyment. Whoever is happy in the satisfaction of himself feels imperturbable felicity but he, who trusts entirely to the world for the disposition of his peace, must inevitably participate [in] many privations and disappointments.
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The promises we break are usually such as we are most forward in making.
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After months of speculation, the sitcom star Ellen DeGeneres admitted that yes, she's gay. Inspired by her courage, today, diet-guru Richard Simmons admitted that he is really, really, really, really gay.
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They say that if you're afraid of homosexuals, it means that deep down inside you're actually a homosexual yourself. That worries me because I'm afraid of dogs.
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