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It is necessary to be tolerant, in order to be tolerated.

Norm MacDonald

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Norm MacDonald
Age: 65
Born: 1959
Born: October 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Quebec
Tolerance
Necessary
Order
Tolerated
Tolerant

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I'm not gay, so I don't know much about Broadway musicals.
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The promises we break are usually such as we are most forward in making.
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I sort of have open invitations from a lot of people to do TV. But it's very hard for me to do roles in sitcoms and movies because I'm not a great actor, so if the material isn't good, I'm in torment while I do it.
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Comedy is surprises, so if you're intending to make somebody laugh and they don't laugh, that's funny.
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Chastity is oftener owing to diffidence and shame, than to fortitude of reason or virtue.
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I've just seen really, really funny guys, and if I didn't know them, I wouldn't know they were funny from the television. I don't know what it does, it just sucks it away.
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I don't do much. I'm too lazy. That's my problem. Hang around my couch, watching the TV. Just too lazy. I realized this the other day, I get hit my a truck tomorrow - a big truck could hit me - paralyze me from the neck down. Wouldn't effect my lifestyle a bit really.
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I just like doing standup, that's all I'm interested in or good at.
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Flattery succeeds best on minds previously occupied by conceit.
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We often suffer more from our fears, than from the dangers of our situation.
Norm MacDonald
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I've seen people in theaters, and it just doesn't work, because you're talking to the guy next to you the whole time.
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I had a show that people thought used a laugh track. It wasn't it was the real audience going crazy after everything that resembled a joke, that they could technically call a joke.
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The most frequent cause of regret for what we have done is because its effects interfere with what we would do.
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I love writing - it's the best. But I really hate collaboration.
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Back in the old days, a man could just get sick and die. Now they have to wage a battle. So my Uncle Bert is waging a courageous battle, which I've seen, because I go and visit him. And this is the battle: he's lying in the hospital bed, with a thing in his arm, watching Matlock on the TV.
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Proper respect to others is the most prudent rule of directing the measure of reverence due to ourselves.
Norm MacDonald
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I don't know the difference between a hippie and a hipster but, it's fun to watch either one of them get beat up.
Norm MacDonald
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I never do impressions, but I probably should. People like that stuff.
Norm MacDonald
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[sam] Kinison, when he started out, he'd come to Canada when I was first starting, and he'd always [bomb].
Norm MacDonald
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I started on 'Saturday Night Live' the same time Conan started on 'Late Night.' We just had a relationship because I would be upstairs in the studio and whenever he couldn't get a guest - which was often back then since he was just starting out - he would just call me down to be a guest.
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