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The promises we break are usually such as we are most forward in making.
Norm MacDonald
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Norm MacDonald
Age: 64
Born: 1959
Born: October 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Quebec
Promises
Forward
Promise
Usually
Break
Making
More quotes by Norm MacDonald
Happiness is less regulated by external circumstances than inward enjoyment. Whoever is happy in the satisfaction of himself feels imperturbable felicity but he, who trusts entirely to the world for the disposition of his peace, must inevitably participate [in] many privations and disappointments.
Norm MacDonald
I don't know the difference between a hippie and a hipster but, it's fun to watch either one of them get beat up.
Norm MacDonald
There are two indiscretions that generally distinguish fools: a readiness to report whatever they hear, and a practice of communicating with secrecy what is commonly understood.
Norm MacDonald
A readiness to excuse some faults, shows a disposition to commit others.
Norm MacDonald
Laws, however divine in origin and institution, would be found of little coercion among men, were the administration of them not committed to mortals.
Norm MacDonald
Women of no beauty may yet be flattered to believe they possess some others of a moderate share that they have a great deal but those of elegance and charm generally know the perfection of their external graces so well, that they seem to covet that flattery most which heightens the opinion of their wit and judgment.
Norm MacDonald
I'm not gay, so I don't know much about Broadway musicals.
Norm MacDonald
When I hear a guy lost a battle to cancer, that really did bother me, that that's a term. It implies that he failed and that somebody else that defeated cancer is heroic and courageous.
Norm MacDonald
Most men will go farther to give advice than to follow their own opinion.
Norm MacDonald
After months of speculation, the sitcom star Ellen DeGeneres admitted that yes, she's gay. Inspired by her courage, today, diet-guru Richard Simmons admitted that he is really, really, really, really gay.
Norm MacDonald
They're like ''You're an alcoholic.'' I go ''No, I'm not.'' and then-apparently that's what alcoholics say too, you know?
Norm MacDonald
Violent people usually express their love of a thing by their hatred of its opposite.
Norm MacDonald
You ever see 'The Dating Game'? That's a weird game show. The prize on that show: another contestant. Talk about cheap.
Norm MacDonald
I don't do much. I'm too lazy. That's my problem. Hang around my couch, watching the TV. Just too lazy. I realized this the other day, I get hit my a truck tomorrow - a big truck could hit me - paralyze me from the neck down. Wouldn't effect my lifestyle a bit really.
Norm MacDonald
I'm thankful for women. I think women are more intelligent than men. Also, without women, there would be no cookies.
Norm MacDonald
The vanity of being asked advice often makes us confirm the opinion of those that consult us.
Norm MacDonald
A capacity for hating the object of desire is, perhaps, the best cure for love in cases of disappointment.
Norm MacDonald
Last Christmas, I got the worst gift a guy ever gave me. He gave me a lottery ticket... what's the guy even thinking there. Here you go... nothing! Merry Christmas! It's nothing!
Norm MacDonald
He that searches for praise will often find contempt.
Norm MacDonald
I was in my peak physical condition when I was about like, uh... one. Oh God, I looked good, young and fresh! You wouldn't know me now if you'd seen me when I was one, you know? I even looked good for my age. People would come up to me and go, what are you, zero? And I'd go, no, I'm one over here!
Norm MacDonald