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It is vain to complain of fortune while we fail in policy and conduct.
Norm MacDonald
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Norm MacDonald
Age: 64
Born: 1959
Born: October 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Quebec
Fail
Fortune
Failing
Policy
Complain
Conduct
Complaining
Vain
More quotes by Norm MacDonald
I've seen people in theaters, and it just doesn't work, because you're talking to the guy next to you the whole time.
Norm MacDonald
The promises we break are usually such as we are most forward in making.
Norm MacDonald
You ever see 'The Dating Game'? That's a weird game show. The prize on that show: another contestant. Talk about cheap.
Norm MacDonald
Women of no beauty may yet be flattered to believe they possess some others of a moderate share that they have a great deal but those of elegance and charm generally know the perfection of their external graces so well, that they seem to covet that flattery most which heightens the opinion of their wit and judgment.
Norm MacDonald
Back in the old days, a man could just get sick and die. Now they have to wage a battle. So my Uncle Bert is waging a courageous battle, which I've seen, because I go and visit him. And this is the battle: he's lying in the hospital bed, with a thing in his arm, watching Matlock on the TV.
Norm MacDonald
I would love to stay at SNL forever. But you can't stay in the same place. People think you're a loser.
Norm MacDonald
I started on 'Saturday Night Live' the same time Conan started on 'Late Night.' We just had a relationship because I would be upstairs in the studio and whenever he couldn't get a guest - which was often back then since he was just starting out - he would just call me down to be a guest.
Norm MacDonald
They're like ''You're an alcoholic.'' I go ''No, I'm not.'' and then-apparently that's what alcoholics say too, you know?
Norm MacDonald
The young compliment their greatness on the number of their friends the old, on the confidence of them.
Norm MacDonald
In giving advice, aptitude is often less to be considered, than seasonableness.
Norm MacDonald
I tried to make the punchline as close to the setup as I could. And I thought that was the perfect thing. If I could make the setup and the punchline identical to each other, I would create a different kind of joke.
Norm MacDonald
Though you may be last to discover your follies, be always first to correct them.
Norm MacDonald
Education makes some men wiser, others more ridiculous and foolish!
Norm MacDonald
Ignorance is better than knowledge misapplied.
Norm MacDonald
You can't love your team without hating another team.
Norm MacDonald
The only two TV shows I saw do that, where they don't warm them up and you can really bomb, was Saturday Night Live - and that's why it gets a lot of heat, too. Obviously it gets criticism fairly, too. But a lot of it is because Lorne [Michaels] lets the audience decide and doesn't force them to laugh.
Norm MacDonald
All that weak people learn from disappointment, is less confidence in future enterprise.
Norm MacDonald
You know, with Hitler, the more I learn about that guy, the more I don't care for him.
Norm MacDonald
There's no show business in Canada, so everybody just did stand-up and we all thought, Oh, we'll just keep doing stand-up. And then I'm like, There's more work in the States.
Norm MacDonald
I've shown people Richard Pryor who've never seen him, and most of them don't like him.
Norm MacDonald