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Were there no fools, there would be no flatterers.
Norm MacDonald
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Norm MacDonald
Age: 64
Born: 1959
Born: October 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Quebec
Fool
Would
Flatterers
Flatterer
Flattery
Fools
More quotes by Norm MacDonald
This is a thing I read by a scientist... it said scientists now say that a man thinks about sex once every 7.3 seconds. Now, I know what I think every 7.3 seconds. It's just a bunch of meaningless gibberish.
Norm MacDonald
Few criminals die sensible of their crimes.
Norm MacDonald
Laws, however divine in origin and institution, would be found of little coercion among men, were the administration of them not committed to mortals.
Norm MacDonald
[Televised stand-up] never really makes me laugh. The only one I ever saw that I liked was Richard Pryor, and that was [shot on] film.
Norm MacDonald
Whenever I do theaters, I don't like 'em. I don't think they're right for stand-up.
Norm MacDonald
There's no show business in Canada, so everybody just did stand-up and we all thought, Oh, we'll just keep doing stand-up. And then I'm like, There's more work in the States.
Norm MacDonald
Richard Pryor is my favorite stand-up ever.
Norm MacDonald
As evacuation eases the body, so occasional ejectment of passion seems to appease the agonies of the soul, and dispose to tranquility the agitations of the heart.
Norm MacDonald
Note to self... Sex with blow-up doll is not as good as advertised.
Norm MacDonald
Note to self: no matter how bad life gets, there's always beer.
Norm MacDonald
I'm not gay, so I don't know much about Broadway musicals.
Norm MacDonald
RIP Amy Winehouse. We lost a true heroin addict today.
Norm MacDonald
My dad had this thing - everyone in Canada wants to play hockey that's all they want to do. So when I was a kid, whenever we skated my dad would not let us on the ice without hockey sticks, because of this insane fear we would become figure skaters!
Norm MacDonald
If you're watching a comedian on television and he's making a political point, I would say he's gotten too serious.
Norm MacDonald
Your worst and most dangerous enemy is the person that injures you under the pretensions of friendship.
Norm MacDonald
It is necessary to be tolerant, in order to be tolerated.
Norm MacDonald
Ever see this? It's a homeless guy but he's got a dog... The dog's really thrilled with this idea. The dog's going, Hey pal, I can do this by myself pretty well. The longest walk in the world you got me on here.
Norm MacDonald
I was in my peak physical condition when I was about like, uh... one. Oh God, I looked good, young and fresh! You wouldn't know me now if you'd seen me when I was one, you know? I even looked good for my age. People would come up to me and go, what are you, zero? And I'd go, no, I'm one over here!
Norm MacDonald
Hypocrisy is the outward acknowledgment of inward shame.
Norm MacDonald
After months of speculation, the sitcom star Ellen DeGeneres admitted that yes, she's gay. Inspired by her courage, today, diet-guru Richard Simmons admitted that he is really, really, really, really gay.
Norm MacDonald
