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A readiness to excuse some faults, shows a disposition to commit others.

Norm MacDonald

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Norm MacDonald
Age: 65
Born: 1959
Born: October 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Quebec
Shows
Readiness
Disposition
Commit
Excuse
Faults
Others

More quotes by Norm MacDonald

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The joy a person is usually seen to express at the conversion of another to his opinion is seldom more than the impulse of egotistical satisfaction at being considered worthy of didactic imitation.
Norm MacDonald
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Some men are tempted to violate secrecy from the uneasiness secrecy gives them, and others, merely to impress you with the extent of their confidence.
Norm MacDonald
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Chastity is oftener owing to diffidence and shame, than to fortitude of reason or virtue.
Norm MacDonald
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It is vain to complain of fortune while we fail in policy and conduct.
Norm MacDonald
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A capacity for hating the object of desire is, perhaps, the best cure for love in cases of disappointment.
Norm MacDonald
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In giving advice, aptitude is often less to be considered, than seasonableness.
Norm MacDonald
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I was in my peak physical condition when I was about like, uh... one. Oh God, I looked good, young and fresh! You wouldn't know me now if you'd seen me when I was one, you know? I even looked good for my age. People would come up to me and go, what are you, zero? And I'd go, no, I'm one over here!
Norm MacDonald
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Note to self: no matter how bad life gets, there's always beer.
Norm MacDonald
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Violent people usually express their love of a thing by their hatred of its opposite.
Norm MacDonald
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Ignorance is better than knowledge misapplied.
Norm MacDonald
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Education makes some men wiser, others more ridiculous and foolish!
Norm MacDonald
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[Televised stand-up] never really makes me laugh. The only one I ever saw that I liked was Richard Pryor, and that was [shot on] film.
Norm MacDonald
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My dad had this thing - everyone in Canada wants to play hockey that's all they want to do. So when I was a kid, whenever we skated my dad would not let us on the ice without hockey sticks, because of this insane fear we would become figure skaters!
Norm MacDonald
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This is a thing I read by a scientist... it said scientists now say that a man thinks about sex once every 7.3 seconds. Now, I know what I think every 7.3 seconds. It's just a bunch of meaningless gibberish.
Norm MacDonald
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I've always been very averse to innuendo, especially sexual. I find it cowardly or something.
Norm MacDonald
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I'm no good at anything but comedy, which I think I'm good at. I'm absolutely no good at networking I'm terrible at acting I'm terrible at dealing with executives I'm terrible at collaborating. And I say whatever I want to say. But I think I'm good enough at comedy that I can survive. And I don't really have an ambition for money.
Norm MacDonald
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Envy, like a false mirror, distorts the symmetry of the sweetest form.
Norm MacDonald
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Last Christmas, I got the worst gift a guy ever gave me. He gave me a lottery ticket... what's the guy even thinking there. Here you go... nothing! Merry Christmas! It's nothing!
Norm MacDonald
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Some men mistake generosity for charity: these flatter themselves that they are giving gratuitously, whilst they are merely rewarding secret services offered their vanity.
Norm MacDonald
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Comedy is surprises, so if you're intending to make somebody laugh and they don't laugh, that's funny.
Norm MacDonald