Quote

Some people are so much afraid of being deceived, that they never venture to trust like misers, their avarice destroys their gain.

Norm MacDonald

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Norm MacDonald
Age: 65
Born: 1959
Born: October 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Quebec
Gain
Gains
Afraid
Misers
Trust
Avarice
Much
Destroys
Never
Deceived
Like
Venture
People
Deception

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Note to self: no matter how bad life gets, there's always beer.
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I hate fame. I hate being recognized, because I don't know how to talk to people.
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[sam] Kinison, when he started out, he'd come to Canada when I was first starting, and he'd always [bomb].
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Back in the old days, a man could just get sick and die. Now they have to wage a battle. So my Uncle Bert is waging a courageous battle, which I've seen, because I go and visit him. And this is the battle: he's lying in the hospital bed, with a thing in his arm, watching Matlock on the TV.
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Pulp Fiction is a, uh, gritty, urban satire. Pump Friction is a uh-uh, a bunch of uh, dudes and ladies having dirty sex.
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Few criminals die sensible of their crimes.
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I don't have any ego about it, but I find there's not a great work ethic in show business. A lot of people are in it to make money, and coming from stand-up, you have to work so hard because almost nothing works, and if you lose the audience for three minutes, you're dead.
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The only two TV shows I saw do that, where they don't warm them up and you can really bomb, was Saturday Night Live - and that's why it gets a lot of heat, too. Obviously it gets criticism fairly, too. But a lot of it is because Lorne [Michaels] lets the audience decide and doesn't force them to laugh.
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I tried to make the punchline as close to the setup as I could. And I thought that was the perfect thing. If I could make the setup and the punchline identical to each other, I would create a different kind of joke.
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Women of no beauty may yet be flattered to believe they possess some others of a moderate share that they have a great deal but those of elegance and charm generally know the perfection of their external graces so well, that they seem to covet that flattery most which heightens the opinion of their wit and judgment.
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I have always loved Las Vegas. It's a traditional place for lounge comics to perform, and I love that.
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He that searches for praise will often find contempt.
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Ever see this? It's a homeless guy but he's got a dog... The dog's really thrilled with this idea. The dog's going, Hey pal, I can do this by myself pretty well. The longest walk in the world you got me on here.
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Last Christmas, I got the worst gift a guy ever gave me. He gave me a lottery ticket... what's the guy even thinking there. Here you go... nothing! Merry Christmas! It's nothing!
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Your worst and most dangerous enemy is the person that injures you under the pretensions of friendship.
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We often suffer more from our fears, than from the dangers of our situation.
Norm MacDonald
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Most men appear wiser in their doubts than in their belief.
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In love, first please the eye, then win the heart.
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I'm no good at anything but comedy, which I think I'm good at. I'm absolutely no good at networking I'm terrible at acting I'm terrible at dealing with executives I'm terrible at collaborating. And I say whatever I want to say. But I think I'm good enough at comedy that I can survive. And I don't really have an ambition for money.
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If you're watching a comedian on television and he's making a political point, I would say he's gotten too serious.
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