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I'm thankful for women. I think women are more intelligent than men. Also, without women, there would be no cookies.

Norm MacDonald

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Norm MacDonald
Age: 65
Born: 1959
Born: October 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Quebec
Without
Would
Men
Think
Cookies
Thinking
Thankful
Intelligent
Also
Women

More quotes by Norm MacDonald

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He that searches for praise will often find contempt.
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They say that if you're afraid of homosexuals, it means that deep down inside you're actually a homosexual yourself. That worries me because I'm afraid of dogs.
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All that weak people learn from disappointment, is less confidence in future enterprise.
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Imprudent restrictions often force youth farther than enticement would carry them and careless limitation is frequently worse than no injunction.
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Scientists believe they may have discovered a primitive form of life on Jupiter's moon Europa. That primitive form of life? You guessed it, Frank Stallone.
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I love writing - it's the best. But I really hate collaboration.
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I'm not gay, so I don't know much about Broadway musicals.
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Ignorance is better than knowledge misapplied.
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There are two things which a man should scrupulously avoid: giving advice that he would not follow, and asking advice when he is determined to pursue his own opinion.
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I don't have any ego about it, but I find there's not a great work ethic in show business. A lot of people are in it to make money, and coming from stand-up, you have to work so hard because almost nothing works, and if you lose the audience for three minutes, you're dead.
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I tried to make the punchline as close to the setup as I could. And I thought that was the perfect thing. If I could make the setup and the punchline identical to each other, I would create a different kind of joke.
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I would love to stay at SNL forever. But you can't stay in the same place. People think you're a loser.
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With the ambitious, the failure of one expedient is the suggestion of another but with the irresolute, defeat usually occasions abandonment of purpose.
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Some men mistake generosity for charity: these flatter themselves that they are giving gratuitously, whilst they are merely rewarding secret services offered their vanity.
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I don't know anything about politics. Like, zero. Nothing.
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They're like ''You're an alcoholic.'' I go ''No, I'm not.'' and then-apparently that's what alcoholics say too, you know?
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Pulp Fiction is a, uh, gritty, urban satire. Pump Friction is a uh-uh, a bunch of uh, dudes and ladies having dirty sex.
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In love, first please the eye, then win the heart.
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In terms of merit, sports has mathematical statistics. That's how you know who the best player is.
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Most men appear wiser in their doubts than in their belief.
Norm MacDonald