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I'm thankful for women. I think women are more intelligent than men. Also, without women, there would be no cookies.

Norm MacDonald

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Norm MacDonald
Age: 65
Born: 1959
Born: October 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Quebec
Think
Cookies
Thinking
Thankful
Intelligent
Also
Women
Without
Would
Men

More quotes by Norm MacDonald

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Note to self... Sex with blow-up doll is not as good as advertised.
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The only two TV shows I saw do that, where they don't warm them up and you can really bomb, was Saturday Night Live - and that's why it gets a lot of heat, too. Obviously it gets criticism fairly, too. But a lot of it is because Lorne [Michaels] lets the audience decide and doesn't force them to laugh.
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We often suffer more from our fears, than from the dangers of our situation.
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Some men are tempted to violate secrecy from the uneasiness secrecy gives them, and others, merely to impress you with the extent of their confidence.
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A capacity for hating the object of desire is, perhaps, the best cure for love in cases of disappointment.
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Ignorance is better than knowledge misapplied.
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A readiness to excuse some faults, shows a disposition to commit others.
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As evacuation eases the body, so occasional ejectment of passion seems to appease the agonies of the soul, and dispose to tranquility the agitations of the heart.
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It is vain to complain of fortune while we fail in policy and conduct.
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He that searches for praise will often find contempt.
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I sort of have open invitations from a lot of people to do TV. But it's very hard for me to do roles in sitcoms and movies because I'm not a great actor, so if the material isn't good, I'm in torment while I do it.
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Education makes some men wiser, others more ridiculous and foolish!
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In estimating the adversities of life, we would seldom have much reason to complain of the evils we suffer, did we understand the dangers we daily escape.
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In love, first please the eye, then win the heart.
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There's no show business in Canada, so everybody just did stand-up and we all thought, Oh, we'll just keep doing stand-up. And then I'm like, There's more work in the States.
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On Update, the only real original thing was trying to take away the cleverness of the punchline and make it as blunt as possible.
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Few people love with the violence they hate.
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[sam] Kinison, when he started out, he'd come to Canada when I was first starting, and he'd always [bomb].
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OJ Simpson was in a different kind of courtroom this week attempting to regain custody of his two children. In order to prove to the court how much he loves his kids, OJ pointed out quote 'Hey, they're still alive, aren't they?'
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Most men appear wiser in their doubts than in their belief.
Norm MacDonald