Quote

Kenny G has a Christmas album out this year. Hey, happy birthday Jesus! Hope you like crap!

Norm MacDonald

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Norm MacDonald
Age: 65
Born: 1959
Born: October 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Quebec
Year
Happy
Kenny
Jesus
Crap
Hope
Hey
Years
Birthday
Like
Album
Albums
Christmas

More quotes by Norm MacDonald

Image
This is a thing I read by a scientist... it said scientists now say that a man thinks about sex once every 7.3 seconds. Now, I know what I think every 7.3 seconds. It's just a bunch of meaningless gibberish.
Norm MacDonald
Image
Last Christmas, I got the worst gift a guy ever gave me. He gave me a lottery ticket... what's the guy even thinking there. Here you go... nothing! Merry Christmas! It's nothing!
Norm MacDonald
Image
The joy a person is usually seen to express at the conversion of another to his opinion is seldom more than the impulse of egotistical satisfaction at being considered worthy of didactic imitation.
Norm MacDonald
Image
I started on 'Saturday Night Live' the same time Conan started on 'Late Night.' We just had a relationship because I would be upstairs in the studio and whenever he couldn't get a guest - which was often back then since he was just starting out - he would just call me down to be a guest.
Norm MacDonald
Image
A capacity for hating the object of desire is, perhaps, the best cure for love in cases of disappointment.
Norm MacDonald
Image
Many people are skeptical about marriage of Michael Jackson and Lisa Marie Pressley. They say, Lisa Marie is more of a sit at home type, while Michael Jackson is more of a homosexual pedophile.
Norm MacDonald
Image
I love writing - it's the best. But I really hate collaboration.
Norm MacDonald
Image
I'm not gay, so I don't know much about Broadway musicals.
Norm MacDonald
Image
The first principle of solid wisdom is discretion, without it all the erudition of life is merely bagatelle.
Norm MacDonald
Image
I don't do much. I'm too lazy. That's my problem. Hang around my couch, watching the TV. Just too lazy. I realized this the other day, I get hit my a truck tomorrow - a big truck could hit me - paralyze me from the neck down. Wouldn't effect my lifestyle a bit really.
Norm MacDonald
Image
I hate fame. I hate being recognized, because I don't know how to talk to people.
Norm MacDonald
Image
The promises we break are usually such as we are most forward in making.
Norm MacDonald
Image
My dad had this thing - everyone in Canada wants to play hockey that's all they want to do. So when I was a kid, whenever we skated my dad would not let us on the ice without hockey sticks, because of this insane fear we would become figure skaters!
Norm MacDonald
Image
I don't know anything about politics. Like, zero. Nothing.
Norm MacDonald
Image
[Televised stand-up] never really makes me laugh. The only one I ever saw that I liked was Richard Pryor, and that was [shot on] film.
Norm MacDonald
Image
I don't care for sex. I find it an embarrassing, dull exercise. I prefer sports, where you can win.
Norm MacDonald
Image
The most frequent cause of regret for what we have done is because its effects interfere with what we would do.
Norm MacDonald
Image
Flattery succeeds best on minds previously occupied by conceit.
Norm MacDonald
Image
The man that does not fear punishment, little regards crime.
Norm MacDonald
Image
When I started in Canada, I just did stand-up.
Norm MacDonald