Quote

I've just seen really, really funny guys, and if I didn't know them, I wouldn't know they were funny from the television. I don't know what it does, it just sucks it away.

Norm MacDonald

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Norm MacDonald
Age: 64
Born: 1959
Born: October 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Quebec
Away
Didn
Sucks
Doe
Guys
Really
Wouldn
Television
Seen
Guy
Funny

More quotes by Norm MacDonald

Image
Most men appear wiser in their doubts than in their belief.
Norm MacDonald
Image
I've been offered political shows before, and I don't know anything about politics and I feel uncomfortable making political opinions - there's consequences to them. I often think I'm wrong, so I really don't like getting in political or religious discussions because of the giant possibility that I might be wrong.
Norm MacDonald
Image
A proper disposition of time leaves a man at leisure in the very bustle of affairs without delaying the attention of his concerns to the last or giving them unnecessary application at first: it affords a season for everything by affording everything its proper season.
Norm MacDonald
Image
The most frequent cause of regret for what we have done is because its effects interfere with what we would do.
Norm MacDonald
Image
Scientists believe they may have discovered a primitive form of life on Jupiter's moon Europa. That primitive form of life? You guessed it, Frank Stallone.
Norm MacDonald
Image
It is vain to complain of fortune while we fail in policy and conduct.
Norm MacDonald
Image
In giving advice, aptitude is often less to be considered, than seasonableness.
Norm MacDonald
Image
They're like ''You're an alcoholic.'' I go ''No, I'm not.'' and then-apparently that's what alcoholics say too, you know?
Norm MacDonald
Image
Last Christmas, I got the worst gift a guy ever gave me. He gave me a lottery ticket... what's the guy even thinking there. Here you go... nothing! Merry Christmas! It's nothing!
Norm MacDonald
Image
They say that if you're afraid of homosexuals, it means that deep down inside you're actually a homosexual yourself. That worries me because I'm afraid of dogs.
Norm MacDonald
Image
I want you to buy this pit bull. This will protect your valuables.' I don't own anything very valuable. If I buy the pit bull, that would be the most valuable thing I own. I'd have to buy something to protect it then.
Norm MacDonald
Image
He that searches for praise will often find contempt.
Norm MacDonald
Image
[sam] Kinison, when he started out, he'd come to Canada when I was first starting, and he'd always [bomb].
Norm MacDonald
Image
Whenever I do theaters, I don't like 'em. I don't think they're right for stand-up.
Norm MacDonald
Image
Most men will go farther to give advice than to follow their own opinion.
Norm MacDonald
Image
Chastity is oftener owing to diffidence and shame, than to fortitude of reason or virtue.
Norm MacDonald
Image
After months of speculation, the sitcom star Ellen DeGeneres admitted that yes, she's gay. Inspired by her courage, today, diet-guru Richard Simmons admitted that he is really, really, really, really gay.
Norm MacDonald
Image
Women of no beauty may yet be flattered to believe they possess some others of a moderate share that they have a great deal but those of elegance and charm generally know the perfection of their external graces so well, that they seem to covet that flattery most which heightens the opinion of their wit and judgment.
Norm MacDonald
Image
I've seen people in theaters, and it just doesn't work, because you're talking to the guy next to you the whole time.
Norm MacDonald
Image
Envy, like a false mirror, distorts the symmetry of the sweetest form.
Norm MacDonald