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Your worst and most dangerous enemy is the person that injures you under the pretensions of friendship.

Norm MacDonald

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Norm MacDonald
Age: 64
Born: 1959
Born: October 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Quebec
Persons
Person
Injures
Pretensions
Pretension
Friendship
Dangerous
Worst
Enemy

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Though you may be last to discover your follies, be always first to correct them.
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I got my computer. The great thing about the computer is that you only need enough money to buy a computer and some food, and you're all right. I don't have to go to premières.
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Hypocrisy is the outward acknowledgment of inward shame.
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Laws, however divine in origin and institution, would be found of little coercion among men, were the administration of them not committed to mortals.
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I've seen people in theaters, and it just doesn't work, because you're talking to the guy next to you the whole time.
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It is easier to hate those we love, than love those whom we have hated.
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Many people are skeptical about marriage of Michael Jackson and Lisa Marie Pressley. They say, Lisa Marie is more of a sit at home type, while Michael Jackson is more of a homosexual pedophile.
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On Update, the only real original thing was trying to take away the cleverness of the punchline and make it as blunt as possible.
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Proper respect to others is the most prudent rule of directing the measure of reverence due to ourselves.
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Last Christmas, I got the worst gift a guy ever gave me. He gave me a lottery ticket... what's the guy even thinking there. Here you go... nothing! Merry Christmas! It's nothing!
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[Televised stand-up] never really makes me laugh. The only one I ever saw that I liked was Richard Pryor, and that was [shot on] film.
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Kenny G has a Christmas album out this year. Hey, happy birthday Jesus! Hope you like crap!
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Ignorance is better than knowledge misapplied.
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Many frequently change their principles, but seldom their practices.
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A readiness to excuse some faults, shows a disposition to commit others.
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Violent people usually express their love of a thing by their hatred of its opposite.
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The first principle of solid wisdom is discretion, without it all the erudition of life is merely bagatelle.
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I don't know the difference between a hippie and a hipster but, it's fun to watch either one of them get beat up.
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It is the folly of weak-minded people, to imagine they are what flattery or conceit represents them and that it is useless for them to be what they are not, since they seem already to have acquired the reputation of it.
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The only two TV shows I saw do that, where they don't warm them up and you can really bomb, was Saturday Night Live - and that's why it gets a lot of heat, too. Obviously it gets criticism fairly, too. But a lot of it is because Lorne [Michaels] lets the audience decide and doesn't force them to laugh.
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