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They say that if you're afraid of homosexuals, it means that deep down inside you're actually a homosexual yourself. That worries me because I'm afraid of dogs.
Norm MacDonald
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Norm MacDonald
Age: 65
Born: 1959
Born: October 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Quebec
Means
Homosexual
Mean
Dogs
Dog
Afraid
Deep
Inside
Worry
Homosexuals
Actually
Worries
More quotes by Norm MacDonald
RIP Amy Winehouse. We lost a true heroin addict today.
Norm MacDonald
I want you to buy this pit bull. This will protect your valuables.' I don't own anything very valuable. If I buy the pit bull, that would be the most valuable thing I own. I'd have to buy something to protect it then.
Norm MacDonald
I don't care for sex. I find it an embarrassing, dull exercise. I prefer sports, where you can win.
Norm MacDonald
Note to self: no matter how bad life gets, there's always beer.
Norm MacDonald
It is the folly of weak-minded people, to imagine they are what flattery or conceit represents them and that it is useless for them to be what they are not, since they seem already to have acquired the reputation of it.
Norm MacDonald
Were there no fools, there would be no flatterers.
Norm MacDonald
After months of speculation, the sitcom star Ellen DeGeneres admitted that yes, she's gay. Inspired by her courage, today, diet-guru Richard Simmons admitted that he is really, really, really, really gay.
Norm MacDonald
You can't love your team without hating another team.
Norm MacDonald
The joy a person is usually seen to express at the conversion of another to his opinion is seldom more than the impulse of egotistical satisfaction at being considered worthy of didactic imitation.
Norm MacDonald
Stand-up has the best writers, because it's the hardest writing by a million miles.
Norm MacDonald
During misfortunes, nothing aggravates our condition more, than to be esteemed deserving of them.
Norm MacDonald
Ignorance is better than knowledge misapplied.
Norm MacDonald
Happiness is less regulated by external circumstances than inward enjoyment. Whoever is happy in the satisfaction of himself feels imperturbable felicity but he, who trusts entirely to the world for the disposition of his peace, must inevitably participate [in] many privations and disappointments.
Norm MacDonald
Comedy is surprises, so if you're intending to make somebody laugh and they don't laugh, that's funny.
Norm MacDonald
It is easier to hate those we love, than love those whom we have hated.
Norm MacDonald
My dad died, and my grandfather died, and my great-grandfather died. And the guy before him, I don't know. Probably died.
Norm MacDonald
Generally I don't like traveling around saying the exact same thing. I don't think that's a very good thing to do with your life.
Norm MacDonald
Flattery succeeds best on minds previously occupied by conceit.
Norm MacDonald
Few criminals die sensible of their crimes.
Norm MacDonald
My dad had this thing - everyone in Canada wants to play hockey that's all they want to do. So when I was a kid, whenever we skated my dad would not let us on the ice without hockey sticks, because of this insane fear we would become figure skaters!
Norm MacDonald
