Quote

They say that if you're afraid of homosexuals, it means that deep down inside you're actually a homosexual yourself. That worries me because I'm afraid of dogs.

Norm MacDonald

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Norm MacDonald
Age: 65
Born: 1959
Born: October 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Quebec
Inside
Worry
Homosexuals
Actually
Worries
Means
Homosexual
Mean
Dogs
Dog
Afraid
Deep

More quotes by Norm MacDonald

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On Update, the only real original thing was trying to take away the cleverness of the punchline and make it as blunt as possible.
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I just like doing standup, that's all I'm interested in or good at.
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Laws, however divine in origin and institution, would be found of little coercion among men, were the administration of them not committed to mortals.
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My dad had this thing - everyone in Canada wants to play hockey that's all they want to do. So when I was a kid, whenever we skated my dad would not let us on the ice without hockey sticks, because of this insane fear we would become figure skaters!
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In estimating the adversities of life, we would seldom have much reason to complain of the evils we suffer, did we understand the dangers we daily escape.
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There are two things which a man should scrupulously avoid: giving advice that he would not follow, and asking advice when he is determined to pursue his own opinion.
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Many frequently change their principles, but seldom their practices.
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I got my computer. The great thing about the computer is that you only need enough money to buy a computer and some food, and you're all right. I don't have to go to premières.
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I don't do much. I'm too lazy. That's my problem. Hang around my couch, watching the TV. Just too lazy. I realized this the other day, I get hit my a truck tomorrow - a big truck could hit me - paralyze me from the neck down. Wouldn't effect my lifestyle a bit really.
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Kenny G has a Christmas album out this year. Hey, happy birthday Jesus! Hope you like crap!
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They that are virtuous from principle may receive confidence in every capacity but they that are so from custom or habit, are capable of trust only in matters of ordinary and settled occurrence.
Norm MacDonald
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I like doing a funny show where I don't have to act and fall in love with a girl.
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When I was a kid, everybody that played golf was an old man. Until Tiger showed up, they weren't in very good shape.
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Hypocrisy is the outward acknowledgment of inward shame.
Norm MacDonald
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I don't have any ambition.
Norm MacDonald
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Most men will go farther to give advice than to follow their own opinion.
Norm MacDonald
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The most frequent cause of regret for what we have done is because its effects interfere with what we would do.
Norm MacDonald
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My dad died, and my grandfather died, and my great-grandfather died. And the guy before him, I don't know. Probably died.
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We would seldom be deceived by flattery, did our own conceit not promote the delusion.
Norm MacDonald
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The man that does not fear punishment, little regards crime.
Norm MacDonald