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The man that does not fear punishment, little regards crime.

Norm MacDonald

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Norm MacDonald
Age: 65
Born: 1959
Born: October 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Quebec
Crime
Fear
Doe
Littles
Little
Men
Regards
Punishment
Regard

More quotes by Norm MacDonald

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I sort of have open invitations from a lot of people to do TV. But it's very hard for me to do roles in sitcoms and movies because I'm not a great actor, so if the material isn't good, I'm in torment while I do it.
Norm MacDonald
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Kenny G has a Christmas album out this year. Hey, happy birthday Jesus! Hope you like crap!
Norm MacDonald
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Most men will go farther to give advice than to follow their own opinion.
Norm MacDonald
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I tried to make the punchline as close to the setup as I could. And I thought that was the perfect thing. If I could make the setup and the punchline identical to each other, I would create a different kind of joke.
Norm MacDonald
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Richard Pryor is my favorite stand-up ever.
Norm MacDonald
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After months of speculation, the sitcom star Ellen DeGeneres admitted that yes, she's gay. Inspired by her courage, today, diet-guru Richard Simmons admitted that he is really, really, really, really gay.
Norm MacDonald
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Ever see this? It's a homeless guy but he's got a dog... The dog's really thrilled with this idea. The dog's going, Hey pal, I can do this by myself pretty well. The longest walk in the world you got me on here.
Norm MacDonald
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The only two TV shows I saw do that, where they don't warm them up and you can really bomb, was Saturday Night Live - and that's why it gets a lot of heat, too. Obviously it gets criticism fairly, too. But a lot of it is because Lorne [Michaels] lets the audience decide and doesn't force them to laugh.
Norm MacDonald
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I like doing a funny show where I don't have to act and fall in love with a girl.
Norm MacDonald
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Your worst and most dangerous enemy is the person that injures you under the pretensions of friendship.
Norm MacDonald
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OJ Simpson was in a different kind of courtroom this week attempting to regain custody of his two children. In order to prove to the court how much he loves his kids, OJ pointed out quote 'Hey, they're still alive, aren't they?'
Norm MacDonald
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I've shown people Richard Pryor who've never seen him, and most of them don't like him.
Norm MacDonald
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When I started in Canada, I just did stand-up.
Norm MacDonald
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Whenever I do theaters, I don't like 'em. I don't think they're right for stand-up.
Norm MacDonald
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You can't love your team without hating another team.
Norm MacDonald
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Back in the old days, a man could just get sick and die. Now they have to wage a battle. So my Uncle Bert is waging a courageous battle, which I've seen, because I go and visit him. And this is the battle: he's lying in the hospital bed, with a thing in his arm, watching Matlock on the TV.
Norm MacDonald
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Many people are skeptical about marriage of Michael Jackson and Lisa Marie Pressley. They say, Lisa Marie is more of a sit at home type, while Michael Jackson is more of a homosexual pedophile.
Norm MacDonald
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I don't know the difference between a hippie and a hipster but, it's fun to watch either one of them get beat up.
Norm MacDonald
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They're like ''You're an alcoholic.'' I go ''No, I'm not.'' and then-apparently that's what alcoholics say too, you know?
Norm MacDonald
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It is necessary to be tolerant, in order to be tolerated.
Norm MacDonald