Quote

Some men mistake generosity for charity: these flatter themselves that they are giving gratuitously, whilst they are merely rewarding secret services offered their vanity.

Norm MacDonald

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Norm MacDonald
Age: 65
Born: 1959
Born: October 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Quebec
Charity
Gratuitously
Merely
Flatter
Mistake
Whilst
Secret
Rewarding
Giving
Services
Men
Offered
Generosity
Vanity

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Few people love with the violence they hate.
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I don't do much. I'm too lazy. That's my problem. Hang around my couch, watching the TV. Just too lazy. I realized this the other day, I get hit my a truck tomorrow - a big truck could hit me - paralyze me from the neck down. Wouldn't effect my lifestyle a bit really.
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Hypocrisy is the outward acknowledgment of inward shame.
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I love writing - it's the best. But I really hate collaboration.
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The promises we break are usually such as we are most forward in making.
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I've seen people in theaters, and it just doesn't work, because you're talking to the guy next to you the whole time.
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Laws, however divine in origin and institution, would be found of little coercion among men, were the administration of them not committed to mortals.
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Flattery succeeds best on minds previously occupied by conceit.
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I don't care for sex. I find it an embarrassing, dull exercise. I prefer sports, where you can win.
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You ever see 'The Dating Game'? That's a weird game show. The prize on that show: another contestant. Talk about cheap.
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It got very tedious saying the same jokes in the same way with the same attitude.
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On Update, the only real original thing was trying to take away the cleverness of the punchline and make it as blunt as possible.
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Most men will go farther to give advice than to follow their own opinion.
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[Televised stand-up] never really makes me laugh. The only one I ever saw that I liked was Richard Pryor, and that was [shot on] film.
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Most men appear wiser in their doubts than in their belief.
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Ever see this? It's a homeless guy but he's got a dog... The dog's really thrilled with this idea. The dog's going, Hey pal, I can do this by myself pretty well. The longest walk in the world you got me on here.
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There are two things which a man should scrupulously avoid: giving advice that he would not follow, and asking advice when he is determined to pursue his own opinion.
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Kenny G has a Christmas album out this year. Hey, happy birthday Jesus! Hope you like crap!
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I tried to make the punchline as close to the setup as I could. And I thought that was the perfect thing. If I could make the setup and the punchline identical to each other, I would create a different kind of joke.
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When I hear a guy lost a battle to cancer, that really did bother me, that that's a term. It implies that he failed and that somebody else that defeated cancer is heroic and courageous.
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