Quote

Some men mistake generosity for charity: these flatter themselves that they are giving gratuitously, whilst they are merely rewarding secret services offered their vanity.

Norm MacDonald

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Norm MacDonald
Age: 65
Born: 1959
Born: October 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Quebec
Vanity
Charity
Gratuitously
Merely
Flatter
Mistake
Whilst
Secret
Rewarding
Giving
Services
Men
Offered
Generosity

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You're used to a TV show, and TV is just made for TV shows. It's not made for live events.So anyways, I was resistant to it, but I did it anyway.
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Many frequently change their principles, but seldom their practices.
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During misfortunes, nothing aggravates our condition more, than to be esteemed deserving of them.
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Note to self... Sex with blow-up doll is not as good as advertised.
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It is vain to complain of fortune while we fail in policy and conduct.
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If you're watching a comedian on television and he's making a political point, I would say he's gotten too serious.
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It is necessary to be tolerant, in order to be tolerated.
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The only two TV shows I saw do that, where they don't warm them up and you can really bomb, was Saturday Night Live - and that's why it gets a lot of heat, too. Obviously it gets criticism fairly, too. But a lot of it is because Lorne [Michaels] lets the audience decide and doesn't force them to laugh.
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Compared to politics, I think sports is funnier, because it's inconsequential. And politics can be real important and all that. The more pointless something is, the funnier it is, you know? And the more grave or important things are... You know, some comedians can get this disease where they get serious all the time.
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The joy a person is usually seen to express at the conversion of another to his opinion is seldom more than the impulse of egotistical satisfaction at being considered worthy of didactic imitation.
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Education makes some men wiser, others more ridiculous and foolish!
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Envy, like a false mirror, distorts the symmetry of the sweetest form.
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Comedy is surprises, so if you're intending to make somebody laugh and they don't laugh, that's funny.
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When I started in Canada, I just did stand-up.
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All my life's about is cracking up people and them cracking me up and trying not to think about dying. That doesn't cost very much money.
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When I hear a guy lost a battle to cancer, that really did bother me, that that's a term. It implies that he failed and that somebody else that defeated cancer is heroic and courageous.
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They say that if you're afraid of homosexuals, it means that deep down inside you're actually a homosexual yourself. That worries me because I'm afraid of dogs.
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I'm no good at anything but comedy, which I think I'm good at. I'm absolutely no good at networking I'm terrible at acting I'm terrible at dealing with executives I'm terrible at collaborating. And I say whatever I want to say. But I think I'm good enough at comedy that I can survive. And I don't really have an ambition for money.
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Ever see this? It's a homeless guy but he's got a dog... The dog's really thrilled with this idea. The dog's going, Hey pal, I can do this by myself pretty well. The longest walk in the world you got me on here.
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I want you to buy this pit bull. This will protect your valuables.' I don't own anything very valuable. If I buy the pit bull, that would be the most valuable thing I own. I'd have to buy something to protect it then.
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