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There are two things which a man should scrupulously avoid: giving advice that he would not follow, and asking advice when he is determined to pursue his own opinion.
Norm MacDonald
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Norm MacDonald
Age: 64
Born: 1959
Born: October 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Quebec
Things
Avoid
Would
Determined
Men
Asking
Follow
Advice
Opinion
Two
Scrupulously
Giving
Pursue
More quotes by Norm MacDonald
I was in my peak physical condition when I was about like, uh... one. Oh God, I looked good, young and fresh! You wouldn't know me now if you'd seen me when I was one, you know? I even looked good for my age. People would come up to me and go, what are you, zero? And I'd go, no, I'm one over here!
Norm MacDonald
I tried to make the punchline as close to the setup as I could. And I thought that was the perfect thing. If I could make the setup and the punchline identical to each other, I would create a different kind of joke.
Norm MacDonald
I'm thankful for women. I think women are more intelligent than men. Also, without women, there would be no cookies.
Norm MacDonald
[sam] Kinison, when he started out, he'd come to Canada when I was first starting, and he'd always [bomb].
Norm MacDonald
It got very tedious saying the same jokes in the same way with the same attitude.
Norm MacDonald
Were there no fools, there would be no flatterers.
Norm MacDonald
I don't know anything about politics. Like, zero. Nothing.
Norm MacDonald
Your worst and most dangerous enemy is the person that injures you under the pretensions of friendship.
Norm MacDonald
It is easier to hate those we love, than love those whom we have hated.
Norm MacDonald
You know, with Hitler, the more I learn about that guy, the more I don't care for him.
Norm MacDonald
Richard Pryor is my favorite stand-up ever.
Norm MacDonald
He that searches for praise will often find contempt.
Norm MacDonald
They say that if you're afraid of homosexuals, it means that deep down inside you're actually a homosexual yourself. That worries me because I'm afraid of dogs.
Norm MacDonald
Note to self: no matter how bad life gets, there's always beer.
Norm MacDonald
We would seldom be deceived by flattery, did our own conceit not promote the delusion.
Norm MacDonald
I got my computer. The great thing about the computer is that you only need enough money to buy a computer and some food, and you're all right. I don't have to go to premières.
Norm MacDonald
They're like ''You're an alcoholic.'' I go ''No, I'm not.'' and then-apparently that's what alcoholics say too, you know?
Norm MacDonald
The young compliment their greatness on the number of their friends the old, on the confidence of them.
Norm MacDonald
During misfortunes, nothing aggravates our condition more, than to be esteemed deserving of them.
Norm MacDonald
I don't have any ambition.
Norm MacDonald
