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There are two things which a man should scrupulously avoid: giving advice that he would not follow, and asking advice when he is determined to pursue his own opinion.

Norm MacDonald

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Norm MacDonald
Age: 65
Born: 1959
Born: October 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Quebec
Opinion
Two
Scrupulously
Giving
Pursue
Things
Avoid
Would
Determined
Men
Asking
Follow
Advice

More quotes by Norm MacDonald

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In terms of merit, sports has mathematical statistics. That's how you know who the best player is.
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Flattery succeeds best on minds previously occupied by conceit.
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I had a show that people thought used a laugh track. It wasn't it was the real audience going crazy after everything that resembled a joke, that they could technically call a joke.
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I was in my peak physical condition when I was about like, uh... one. Oh God, I looked good, young and fresh! You wouldn't know me now if you'd seen me when I was one, you know? I even looked good for my age. People would come up to me and go, what are you, zero? And I'd go, no, I'm one over here!
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Ever see this? It's a homeless guy but he's got a dog... The dog's really thrilled with this idea. The dog's going, Hey pal, I can do this by myself pretty well. The longest walk in the world you got me on here.
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When I was a kid, everybody that played golf was an old man. Until Tiger showed up, they weren't in very good shape.
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Some men mistake generosity for charity: these flatter themselves that they are giving gratuitously, whilst they are merely rewarding secret services offered their vanity.
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All that weak people learn from disappointment, is less confidence in future enterprise.
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We would seldom be deceived by flattery, did our own conceit not promote the delusion.
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I've just seen really, really funny guys, and if I didn't know them, I wouldn't know they were funny from the television. I don't know what it does, it just sucks it away.
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It is vain to complain of fortune while we fail in policy and conduct.
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Some people are so much afraid of being deceived, that they never venture to trust like misers, their avarice destroys their gain.
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I don't have any ego about it, but I find there's not a great work ethic in show business. A lot of people are in it to make money, and coming from stand-up, you have to work so hard because almost nothing works, and if you lose the audience for three minutes, you're dead.
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There's that saying, I don't know art, but I know what I like. The inverse is kind of true. I know art, but I don't know what I like. You get so immersed in it that nothing appeals to you.
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[Televised stand-up] never really makes me laugh. The only one I ever saw that I liked was Richard Pryor, and that was [shot on] film.
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When I started in Canada, I just did stand-up.
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I've seen people in theaters, and it just doesn't work, because you're talking to the guy next to you the whole time.
Norm MacDonald
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Though you may be last to discover your follies, be always first to correct them.
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I've always been very averse to innuendo, especially sexual. I find it cowardly or something.
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When I hear a guy lost a battle to cancer, that really did bother me, that that's a term. It implies that he failed and that somebody else that defeated cancer is heroic and courageous.
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