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Most men will go farther to give advice than to follow their own opinion.

Norm MacDonald

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Norm MacDonald
Age: 65
Born: 1959
Born: October 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Quebec
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Men

More quotes by Norm MacDonald

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Were there no fools, there would be no flatterers.
Norm MacDonald
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Some men are tempted to violate secrecy from the uneasiness secrecy gives them, and others, merely to impress you with the extent of their confidence.
Norm MacDonald
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After months of speculation, the sitcom star Ellen DeGeneres admitted that yes, she's gay. Inspired by her courage, today, diet-guru Richard Simmons admitted that he is really, really, really, really gay.
Norm MacDonald
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The young compliment their greatness on the number of their friends the old, on the confidence of them.
Norm MacDonald
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When I was a kid, everybody that played golf was an old man. Until Tiger showed up, they weren't in very good shape.
Norm MacDonald
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Back in the old days, a man could just get sick and die. Now they have to wage a battle. So my Uncle Bert is waging a courageous battle, which I've seen, because I go and visit him. And this is the battle: he's lying in the hospital bed, with a thing in his arm, watching Matlock on the TV.
Norm MacDonald
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I've shown people Richard Pryor who've never seen him, and most of them don't like him.
Norm MacDonald
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I love writing - it's the best. But I really hate collaboration.
Norm MacDonald
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I want you to buy this pit bull. This will protect your valuables.' I don't own anything very valuable. If I buy the pit bull, that would be the most valuable thing I own. I'd have to buy something to protect it then.
Norm MacDonald
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The Rolling Stones reunited for a twenty-fifth anniversary tour last week. Keith Richards said that he's happy to continue to do what he's been doing for the past twenty-five years: cheating death.
Norm MacDonald
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It got very tedious saying the same jokes in the same way with the same attitude.
Norm MacDonald
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You can't love your team without hating another team.
Norm MacDonald
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On Update, the only real original thing was trying to take away the cleverness of the punchline and make it as blunt as possible.
Norm MacDonald
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I never do impressions, but I probably should. People like that stuff.
Norm MacDonald
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I was in my peak physical condition when I was about like, uh... one. Oh God, I looked good, young and fresh! You wouldn't know me now if you'd seen me when I was one, you know? I even looked good for my age. People would come up to me and go, what are you, zero? And I'd go, no, I'm one over here!
Norm MacDonald
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I don't have any ego about it, but I find there's not a great work ethic in show business. A lot of people are in it to make money, and coming from stand-up, you have to work so hard because almost nothing works, and if you lose the audience for three minutes, you're dead.
Norm MacDonald
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Happiness is less regulated by external circumstances than inward enjoyment. Whoever is happy in the satisfaction of himself feels imperturbable felicity but he, who trusts entirely to the world for the disposition of his peace, must inevitably participate [in] many privations and disappointments.
Norm MacDonald
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Your worst and most dangerous enemy is the person that injures you under the pretensions of friendship.
Norm MacDonald
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Man, them engagement rings, boy, they cost a lot. I was looking at 'em. Cost like a thousand bucks, two thousand bucks, y'know. Three thousand bucks. Something like that- four thousand bucks. Big number divisible by a thousand, anyways.
Norm MacDonald
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In estimating the adversities of life, we would seldom have much reason to complain of the evils we suffer, did we understand the dangers we daily escape.
Norm MacDonald