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Whenever I do theaters, I don't like 'em. I don't think they're right for stand-up.

Norm MacDonald

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Norm MacDonald
Age: 65
Born: 1959
Born: October 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Quebec
Think
Thinking
Like
Theaters
Ems
Whenever
Theater
Stand
Right

More quotes by Norm MacDonald

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There's that saying, I don't know art, but I know what I like. The inverse is kind of true. I know art, but I don't know what I like. You get so immersed in it that nothing appeals to you.
Norm MacDonald
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I generally have a real strong idea or a strong punchline, and I just try to get to it by rambling around, as I don't like to memorize words.
Norm MacDonald
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[Televised stand-up] never really makes me laugh. The only one I ever saw that I liked was Richard Pryor, and that was [shot on] film.
Norm MacDonald
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I never do impressions, but I probably should. People like that stuff.
Norm MacDonald
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Last Christmas, I got the worst gift a guy ever gave me. He gave me a lottery ticket... what's the guy even thinking there. Here you go... nothing! Merry Christmas! It's nothing!
Norm MacDonald
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You ever be having a really good dream, and then, uh- right in the middle of the dream you wake up, right in the best part of the dream? And there you are, back in your stinkin' life again? Man, that's rough, eh?
Norm MacDonald
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We would seldom be deceived by flattery, did our own conceit not promote the delusion.
Norm MacDonald
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In giving advice, aptitude is often less to be considered, than seasonableness.
Norm MacDonald
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All that weak people learn from disappointment, is less confidence in future enterprise.
Norm MacDonald
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This is a thing I read by a scientist... it said scientists now say that a man thinks about sex once every 7.3 seconds. Now, I know what I think every 7.3 seconds. It's just a bunch of meaningless gibberish.
Norm MacDonald
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I don't know anything about politics. Like, zero. Nothing.
Norm MacDonald
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I'm not gay, so I don't know much about Broadway musicals.
Norm MacDonald
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I don't have any ego about it, but I find there's not a great work ethic in show business. A lot of people are in it to make money, and coming from stand-up, you have to work so hard because almost nothing works, and if you lose the audience for three minutes, you're dead.
Norm MacDonald
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There are two things which a man should scrupulously avoid: giving advice that he would not follow, and asking advice when he is determined to pursue his own opinion.
Norm MacDonald
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Few people love with the violence they hate.
Norm MacDonald
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Envy, like a false mirror, distorts the symmetry of the sweetest form.
Norm MacDonald
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The joy a person is usually seen to express at the conversion of another to his opinion is seldom more than the impulse of egotistical satisfaction at being considered worthy of didactic imitation.
Norm MacDonald
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When I started in Canada, I just did stand-up.
Norm MacDonald
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The Rolling Stones reunited for a twenty-fifth anniversary tour last week. Keith Richards said that he's happy to continue to do what he's been doing for the past twenty-five years: cheating death.
Norm MacDonald
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A capacity for hating the object of desire is, perhaps, the best cure for love in cases of disappointment.
Norm MacDonald