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When I was a kid, everybody that played golf was an old man. Until Tiger showed up, they weren't in very good shape.
Norm MacDonald
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Norm MacDonald
Age: 65
Born: 1959
Born: October 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Quebec
Golf
Played
Shapes
Tiger
Everybody
Tigers
Kids
Showed
Good
Weren
Men
Shape
More quotes by Norm MacDonald
He that searches for praise will often find contempt.
Norm MacDonald
Ignorance is better than knowledge misapplied.
Norm MacDonald
I don't know the difference between a hippie and a hipster but, it's fun to watch either one of them get beat up.
Norm MacDonald
Violent people usually express their love of a thing by their hatred of its opposite.
Norm MacDonald
None seem to bear the imputation of supposed guilt with greater intolerance than such as are, on other occasions, obviously culpable of vice or crime.
Norm MacDonald
[Televised stand-up] never really makes me laugh. The only one I ever saw that I liked was Richard Pryor, and that was [shot on] film.
Norm MacDonald
Stand-up has the best writers, because it's the hardest writing by a million miles.
Norm MacDonald
If you're watching a comedian on television and he's making a political point, I would say he's gotten too serious.
Norm MacDonald
Note to self: no matter how bad life gets, there's always beer.
Norm MacDonald
In love, first please the eye, then win the heart.
Norm MacDonald
They that are virtuous from principle may receive confidence in every capacity but they that are so from custom or habit, are capable of trust only in matters of ordinary and settled occurrence.
Norm MacDonald
I just like doing standup, that's all I'm interested in or good at.
Norm MacDonald
Note to self... Sex with blow-up doll is not as good as advertised.
Norm MacDonald
I never do impressions, but I probably should. People like that stuff.
Norm MacDonald
There's no show business in Canada, so everybody just did stand-up and we all thought, Oh, we'll just keep doing stand-up. And then I'm like, There's more work in the States.
Norm MacDonald
It is the folly of weak-minded people, to imagine they are what flattery or conceit represents them and that it is useless for them to be what they are not, since they seem already to have acquired the reputation of it.
Norm MacDonald
I generally have a real strong idea or a strong punchline, and I just try to get to it by rambling around, as I don't like to memorize words.
Norm MacDonald
Pulp Fiction is a, uh, gritty, urban satire. Pump Friction is a uh-uh, a bunch of uh, dudes and ladies having dirty sex.
Norm MacDonald
I want you to buy this pit bull. This will protect your valuables.' I don't own anything very valuable. If I buy the pit bull, that would be the most valuable thing I own. I'd have to buy something to protect it then.
Norm MacDonald
On Update, the only real original thing was trying to take away the cleverness of the punchline and make it as blunt as possible.
Norm MacDonald
