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Stand-up has the best writers, because it's the hardest writing by a million miles.
Norm MacDonald
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Norm MacDonald
Age: 65
Born: 1959
Born: October 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Quebec
Million
Writers
Millions
Stand
Best
Writing
Miles
Hardest
More quotes by Norm MacDonald
I tried to make the punchline as close to the setup as I could. And I thought that was the perfect thing. If I could make the setup and the punchline identical to each other, I would create a different kind of joke.
Norm MacDonald
The most frequent cause of regret for what we have done is because its effects interfere with what we would do.
Norm MacDonald
Few people love with the violence they hate.
Norm MacDonald
You ever see 'The Dating Game'? That's a weird game show. The prize on that show: another contestant. Talk about cheap.
Norm MacDonald
Kenny G has a Christmas album out this year. Hey, happy birthday Jesus! Hope you like crap!
Norm MacDonald
Note to self: no matter how bad life gets, there's always beer.
Norm MacDonald
This would have been a great game to watch if we didn't have any money on it.
Norm MacDonald
During misfortunes, nothing aggravates our condition more, than to be esteemed deserving of them.
Norm MacDonald
He that searches for praise will often find contempt.
Norm MacDonald
There are two indiscretions that generally distinguish fools: a readiness to report whatever they hear, and a practice of communicating with secrecy what is commonly understood.
Norm MacDonald
I don't do much. I'm too lazy. That's my problem. Hang around my couch, watching the TV. Just too lazy. I realized this the other day, I get hit my a truck tomorrow - a big truck could hit me - paralyze me from the neck down. Wouldn't effect my lifestyle a bit really.
Norm MacDonald
Ignorance is better than knowledge misapplied.
Norm MacDonald
Laws, however divine in origin and institution, would be found of little coercion among men, were the administration of them not committed to mortals.
Norm MacDonald
I never do impressions, but I probably should. People like that stuff.
Norm MacDonald
There are two things which a man should scrupulously avoid: giving advice that he would not follow, and asking advice when he is determined to pursue his own opinion.
Norm MacDonald
I had a show that people thought used a laugh track. It wasn't it was the real audience going crazy after everything that resembled a joke, that they could technically call a joke.
Norm MacDonald
Education makes some men wiser, others more ridiculous and foolish!
Norm MacDonald
Most men will go farther to give advice than to follow their own opinion.
Norm MacDonald
My dad had this thing - everyone in Canada wants to play hockey that's all they want to do. So when I was a kid, whenever we skated my dad would not let us on the ice without hockey sticks, because of this insane fear we would become figure skaters!
Norm MacDonald
I've always been very averse to innuendo, especially sexual. I find it cowardly or something.
Norm MacDonald
